Saltine-American

Comic and Promoter of comedy in the Tulsa area. Conissiour of fine asses and batshit crazy women.

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

@ESPNFANSUPPORT need some assistance. Ordered the PPV last night. My roommate watched it live but had to turn volume down because it only would play in Portuguese. After I got off this morning had friends from the hospital over and would not play at all.

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

@gusjohnson fuck you. You have called multiple games where they planted the flag. Didn't say shit. You are so anti Michigan it isn't even funny

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

As the 7th seal is opened and I await the angelic trumpets, instead I just hear, "we're the Costco guys!!!"

#costcoguys

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

@AmericanAir how are you replying to everyone but not one reply to my DM or post?*?

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

@AmericanAir check yo DMs

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

@Tbone7219 I used to work there and I never saw that either.

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

@AmericanAir my flight has been canceled 2 days in a row. I'm out of mess. I had to reschedule an important appointment I've waited 6 months for. I know you won't make it right but i gave my word to a rep I'd leave a good survey. The call dropped. I'd like to keep that promise

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

Everytime I hear a station play Waterfalls without the rap verse I ask, "who hurt you?!!"

Then i realize, "they must be scrubs"..

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

So apparently unbeknownst to me (because obviously I do not partake in such tomfoolery) there are multiple states that have banned pornhub. As of this moment I can assure you Oklahoma has not. At least that's what someone that obviously isn't me confirmed.

#pornhub
#Oklahoma

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

I was hoping the Panthers would have traded into the 1st round to take Kool-Aid McKinstry but I remembered we drink Purple Drank in the south.

#NFLDraft2024
#NFLDraft   
#KoolAid

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

If you are playing a drinking game where you drink everytime they show Taylor Swift. I hope your affairs are in order. Tell your family you love them. Because you're going to be dead by halftime.

#TaylorSwift
#AFCChampionship
#NFLTwitter   
#Swifties

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

Whoever decided Gronk should have a career as an on air analyst probably should rethink their career choice.

#NFL   
#NFLTwitter   
#NFLPlayoffs2024
#Gronk

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

@posbrandon @NFL If it's scripted then stop watching!

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

Cornhole is just horseshoes baby proofed...

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

I'd rather listen to screams of terror from my children's rooms than ever listen to @stoolpresidente ever call a sporting event AGAIN. You fucking suck.

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

For everything I ever said about Joe Buck I apologize. For the love of all that's fucking holy. Never let Dave Portnoy ever call a game again. Helen Keller could do a better job and hurt my ears less.

#BarstoolAZBowl
#barstool
#daveportnoy

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

@Scentbird Won't

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

@Scentbird is a joke. Been trying to cancel for weeks. Then they don't even send cologne on this new order. Stay away...

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

@Scentbird I finally was able to cancel after trying to for weeks. Hell the order they want refund me back for is processing and it's both perfumes!! Wasn't anything in my que!!

[Saltine-American @BazarComedy]

The death star destroyed the wrong Aldean...

(Yes I know it's Alderaan you nerds)

#JasonAldean