Meep

Still nailing down my target market, which happens to be those sentenced to crucifixion.
| FinTwit Connoisseur | Monetizing Dreams |
S a t i r e

[Meep @BeakerUpdate]

Update: I have discovered that E Coli scares are a result of people getting sick from eating too much ass and then blaming it on restaurants

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@AnishESPN @paulcarcaterra Tough not hearing y’all on the game today

You guys do great work on CFB and kick into another gear during the lax season.

No doubt the prod team was working hard to resolve. They always put on a great show — today was no exception!

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Thank God Britney Griner is coming home!
#BritneyGriner

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@ZootedMagooted I feel like you tweeted this last year.

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@joelklatt would commit voter fraud if the sound of his own voice was running for office.

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@Drewdle25 after watching lax coverage and maction — you are a comer and will be prime time before you retire. Keep grinding.

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If Mar-A-Lago is an illegal search, is epilepsy an illegal seizure?
#TrumpIsGoingToJail #LockHerUp #HunterBiden

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Happy Kobe Day everyone!
#CFIT #FAA

https://t.co/hHdohbR5Wv

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@CroftyF1 @SkySportsF1 what is downforce and how can I use it to oppress my enemies?

[Dr. Parik Patel, BA, CFA, ACCA Esq. @ParikPatelCFA]

Nobody will remember:
- Your salary
- Your fancy title
- How ‘busy’ you were
- How stressed you were
- How many hours you worked

People will remember:
- How hot your wife is

[Meep @BeakerUpdate]

I will allow police shootings of unarmed citizens, provided that said citizens are verified as having previously smoked cigarettes inside a rental car.
#cigarettes

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Weird that none of the headlines read “US Unborn Fetuses Officially Join the LIV Tour”
And why are they not to blame.

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None of this would have happened if people didn’t join the LIV tour.
#RoeVsWade

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At least when my parents told me “we would have aborted you if we could,”I knew there was a chance they weren’t serious.
#AbortionBan

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Hopefully you submitted all your abortions prior to today.
#ABORTIONS

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The NCAA beach volleyball broadcast on @espn has more whistles than your neighborhood #chel superstar going one-on-one with a CPU goalie.

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If book titles had taught me anything, Pride Month must be followed by a Prejudice Month.
#Pride

[Harrison @ZootedMagooted]

Our company culture is extracting the maximum amount of labor at the lowest possible price

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@con_nor0 Thx

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Miss me with that pay shit.

[Meep @BeakerUpdate]

No excuses, just identifiable contributing factors.
#GrittyByNature