Bearded King

Bio Die-o

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

Twit

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

You're all officially invited drink some yellow tail at my red carpet green screen blue collar black tie event for blues players in orange county.

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

All the world's a play, and all the men and women are merely stages.
-Shackspear

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

If I could go back in time, I would invent Doc Martins before Doc Martin and call them Doc's Martin.
Then, I would travel to the present wearing a pair of Doc Martin's in the mart in which one would find a pair of Docs Martin's in, making a paradoxical paradox for Marxism.

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

I know that we've "made it" as a society when I can endlessly binge watch reaction videos to reaction videos.

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

Wikihow do I make peers to review my journals?

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

Nothing worries guests like opening a door to what they think is the restroom and just finding a closet full of ripe figs.

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

You know those relationships where you just yodel at each other sadly from a distance? Am I the only one?

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

My tongue is depressed enough. Thank you.

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

I have a sweet tooth for sooth tweets.

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

I am a proud member of the upper middle lower lower class.

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

"I'm gonna tweet that."
-I'm gonna tweet that.

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

I hunts ketchup

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

I have a fortune in collectors edition expired McDonalds monopoly peel off stickers.

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

Hi, I'm dead inside!

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

Trigger warning!

Nothing in this tweet was deserving of that trigger warning, unless that fact does it for you.

That's called a paradox.

#triggered #paradox

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

Why does the United States feel less like a melting pot and more like a stew where all of the ingredients keep bumping into each other and feeling uncomfortable about it?
#us #stew

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

#In #Order #To #Increase #My #Twitter #Followers #I #Am #Hashtagging #Every #Word #In #This #Tweet

#dontjudgeme

[Bearded King @BeardedKing6]

Potential mascot for Mountain Dew: Mountain Drew
Pepsi pay me later
#Mountaindew