Stanley Beef

just an arsehole out in the country

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

@Tim_Banks @PleasantPork its a cack ring pure n simple

bit small fer me if im honest

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

@Kranks knew a fella who ran the rollercoaster there a summer or two

he were the most crochety arsehole to walk the earth an his arse saw a bath once a blue moon

we near all fainted when he said he were gonna work up there on the coaster

apparently he were good at it tho

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

what the hell is x

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

found my phone

it fell into the hole in the seat in my ol farmall tractor with the wood cab hump wigmore made fer me after i helped him with his heffer one night she were in labour with a breech calf

darn seat been stabbin my arse with the spring comin outta it

[Scotty MacSqueezenickel @PleasantPork]

…spreading moo goo today…

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

this rain can bite me arse by the jeezus

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

muggy as ever i see

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

some jeezlin muggy

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

@PleasantPork CONGRATS OL FELLA

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

the boy said hes pissin off the back step from now on

are ya out a yer mind i said

he told me its dry out there an pissin off the back step is his way a preventin a fire from gettin us from the south

yer pissin into the north east i said, prolly why its blowin back at ya

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

some shook over the nova scotia fires

the boy said to me dad what a ya think about a campfire tonite

i said have ya not seen the news

he sorta looked at me like he were a cow chewin its cud

i take that as a no i said

head full a hammers, that boy

head full a hammers

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

were out spreadin a bit a liquid manure up Old Hump's way an i come home reekin of it

got yer cologne on, the wife said

its better than that axe stuff the boys wear round the lions club, i said

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

the boy come in to wake me n the wife up this mornin

he said the easter bunny were here an left a pile a them mini eggs on the dinner table

the wife looked at me

u forgot to hide em last night didnt ya she said glarin at me

what i said. hes 17 woman he oughta at least SUSPECT

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

@shipleytweets @12am_poutine hows ur arse

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

whats that arsehole need a friggin bus fer then

a mini van would do him

[Kerry Campbell @kerrywcampbell]

I have never seen 20-40 people file out of this. More like 8 at the events I've been at.
In Montague last week the supporters were all waiting there when the bus arrived, led outside the wellness centre to cheer the PC leader as he disembarked with a few staff.

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

seen ol deny kings new bus go rollin by

he must really think hes a king with a set a wheels like that

it were me, id go tourin round in the ol f150..... fer the environment an all that

aint too often an f150 owner can say that

i guess i owe that arsehole a debt a gratitude

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

Bumpy had er calf after a couple hours a labour

came slippin out into a pile a hay

Moon took one look a the mess an were sick all over the place

at least two bales a hay ruined by moon upchuckin everywhere

Jesus, the boy said to Moon. how much did ya eat before comin over

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

i did wash my hands before tweetin rest assured

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

moon macewen come down to give me a hand with ol bumpy

the calf were breech but i got it turned around

had to stick both arms up Bumpy to get it into position for a proper push

moon just sat on a hay bale takin nips from a flask he brung an hollerin opinions

such a corncob

[Stanley Beef @BeefStanley]

@SeasideBookshop id fart right back at em only worse