BuriedAlive

Been Buried Alive. #badweek

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

The mole people are pretty nice actually. Brought me a pie and some beer and we all had a really chill party. #molepeoplearelit

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

Does anyone know of a good exterminator? I need help humanely removing these mole people. #bribesdontwork

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

Why isn't there anyone in congress who represents me? I never seen any rep who has been buried alive and conducts business underground. #SAD

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

I must live near a tree. There are all these roots in my box. I wish this tree would leaf me alone. #knockonwood

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

Lost my phone for a couple of years. Turns out it was under my body the whole time! #alwaysthelastplaceyoulook

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

Woah. Took a nap. Hard to wake up when you live in perpetual darkness.

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

The church of Latter Day Saints #BadStripClubNames

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

Dirt in the Skirt #BadStripClubNames

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

The view from my place. #donthatemecauseyouaintme

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

They come to my place for the sex, but they stay because now they too are trapped underground. #playah

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

Found a fossil today. It looks like the skeletal remains of human pinky toes. In other news I ate my pinky toes a few weeks ago. #cannibal

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

Being buried alive sucks, but when all is said and done, several miles of earth is the best sun block I could hope for. #idontmissthesun

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

#howtoresistsex step one: get buried alive alone. Repeat step one as needed (when you escape).

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

#idbelyingifisaid I remember what the sun looks like.

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

#somethingisayalot I wish I had a toothbrush. :/

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

@TacoBell Do you guys have a location several miles below the Earth's crust? Earthworm salad is good but not EVERY day.

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

I can't believe it has been a month already. It feels like just yesterday that I was laying in the dark underground. #nostalgia

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

@jesus I could use some toilet paper. #prayer

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

I just remembered showers are a thing. :/

[BuriedAlive @BeenBuriedAlive]

Mood: in a constant state of fear because of Earthquakes and Land sharks.