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Free Belarus News (Eng.)
@BelarusMiniInfo
People's "Lukashenka-free" Republic of Belaruse Ministry of Information - пародыя міністэрства
"Parrotty Gnus From the Minsk Zoo since 2015"
Minsk
Joined September 2016
272 Following
3.1K Followers
45.1K Posts
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Free Belarus News voted Twitter's leading sat tire and parroty gnus account.
GLOBAL CALISTHENICS BUSINESS NEWS
Since collapse of Push-Ups partnership, Push faces stiff market share competition from new rival Pull while Ups simply holds market position against Fed-Ex partnership whilst quietly feeding to rumors of quarrel between Fed and Ex.
@CanadaGoose911 Poor guy just keeps using past tense instead of present tense.
"Wadies and gentwemen, I have achieved an honowabwe and wasting peace wid dis wascawwy wabbit. Some say he's wascawwy. Maybe de duck? yeah, de duck. So dewe I was in de fowest wid my wifle, is it wabbit season ow duck season? I stiww don't know fow suwe...but hewe we awe."
@BelarusMiniInfo
Pontius Pilate: "So, you dare to waid us... Stwike him, Centuwion, vewy woughly!"
Brian: "Aaah!"
Centurion: "Oh, and, uh, throw him to the floor, sir?"
Pontius Pilate: "Oh, yes. Thwow him to the floor, please." [1, 2]
Who to follow
MILMAG
@_MILMAG
MILMAG is a Poland based defence and shooting industry news provider. 🔫
DPRK News Service 
@DPRK_News
Official News feed of Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea
Caliber English
@CaliberEnglish
Official English version of https://t.co/u5yIuGWJJU media and broadcasting company. News from around the world in the world's most widely spoken language
@BelarusMiniInfo
Pontius Pilate: "So, you dare to waid us... Stwike him, Centuwion, vewy woughly!"
Brian: "Aaah!"
Centurion: "Oh, and, uh, throw him to the floor, sir?"
Pontius Pilate: "Oh, yes. Thwow him to the floor, please." [1, 2]
@kinsellawarren https://t.co/uQAy9oxOF6
LOCAL NEWS
Cat retires from IBM after forty year career.
@RadioFreeTom https://t.co/PLBnwLFkeP
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un receives standing ovation prior to DPRK National Basket-ball Championship Game.
@kinsellawarren https://t.co/dfWC7mgxCO
UK MEDICAL EQUIPMENT BREAKING NEWS
Truss fails to contain herniated Johnson, leaving it dangling and exposed on live parliamentary TV.
According to one night stand rating agencies former UK Prime Minister Liz Truss has never been wilted.
SECONDS FROM DISASTER
The broken nose of the police constable standing near the base of the basketball net is healing nicely.
LOCAL NEWS
Cat retires from IBM after forty year career.
@godelitsas https://t.co/drn2H66lTx
France celebrates 210th anniversary of discovery of air conditioning.
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un receives standing ovation prior to DPRK National Basket-ball Championship Game.
@godelitsas https://t.co/54rfciIuBn
The title of His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular, leaves no room for news about him.
@DeadKennedys https://t.co/raRyauxBQg
Dead Kennedys considered a "Holiday In Cambodia" travel agency, but were unable to be at school for a year or two to get IATA credentials.
Ask ChatGPT a question:
"What is salmon?"
Delicious.
(ChatGPT may sometimes misinterpret a question or phrase but is still always correct in its response.)
French AI software ChatGPT flirts with men and women, highly recommends Gauloises, and describes dogs as "a pestilence, viral in nature (with apologies to actual hard working viruses offended by the comparison). Destroyers of Worlds. Evil Incarnate."
Secretary of War and Trump loyalist Pete Hegseth claims ownership of booze received by the President at last night's NBA game.
(Asked about the Hatch Act, Hegseth confirmed all USN submarine hatches are closed before diving.)
NBA GAMES
Spurs defeat Knicks
Senator Rand Paul begins final metamorphosis.
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