B.E.L.L Ent

Our goal is to plan everything for your event, so you can just enjoy a great time.Everything from the Theme to the music.Leave that to us.Be.Easy.Live.Life

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

WHY MY MOM LEARNT TO PLAY
CLARINET?
My parents recently retired. Mom always wanted to
learn to play the piano, so dad bought her a piano for
her birthday.A few weeks later, I asked how she was
doing with it.
"Oh, we returned the piano." said My Dad, "I
persuaded her to switch to a clarinet instead."
"How come?" I asked.
"Because," he answered, "with a clarinet, she
can't sing."

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

Painting a roller coaster: So in my junior year of high school I got a project to make a roller coaster for my physics class. Everything was going fine until the day my partner and I had to paint the thing. We were in my garage spray painting the tubes and these two guys come marching up to the house across the street and start yelling at the top of their lungs, beating on the door. Now let me say in my defense the neighborhood I lived in was in south Dallas and it’s still not a safe place. Well I called the police, closed the garage and parked myself in front of the dining room window. Long story short the police showed up in full gear broke down the door and brought out the two boys at gunpoint. And that’s the story of how my entire block found out that the abandoned house had new owners.

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

A matter of punctuation
An English professior wrote the words, “Woman
withour her man is nothing” on the blackboard and
directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”
The women wrote: “Woman! Without her,man is
nothing.”

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

How can he explain it?
An old gentleman was walking slowly along a street
one day when he saw a little boy who was trying to
reach a door bell which was too high for him. He was a
kind – hearted old man, so he stopped and said.
“I will ring the bell for you.”
And then he pulled the bell so hard that it could be
heard all over the house.
The little boy looked up at him and said.
“ Now we will run away. Come on”
And before the old gentleman knew what was
happening, the naughty boy had run round the corner of
the street, leaving the man to explain to the angry owner
of the house why he had rung the bell.

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

Will you describe the game?
A wife was angry with her husband who had a frivolous
nature. She asked him:
- Where were you last night? You didn\'t get home until
near 2:00am. Do you think I don\'t know?
The husband quickly defended himself:
- I went out to watch the Football Match next door.
Alas! You know, England beat Germany 4 to 1. Oh
how beautiful it was.
The wife knew very well the kind of story her husband
would tell.
- Really? So, you will describe the game to me, won\'t
you?

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

2. College Letters
A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As
she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her
chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?"
asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard
and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his
Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she
replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a
checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a
blue "Y" on her chest. "How did you get that mark
on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend
went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never
takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make
love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a
checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a
red "M" on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at
Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a
girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?"

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

Bats
A vampire bat came flapping in for the night
covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the
ceiling of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all
the other bats smelled the blood and started hassling
him about where he got it. He told them to piss off
and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until
he finally gave in. "Okay, follow me" he said and
flapped out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind
him. Down through a valley they went, across a
river and into a forest of trees. Finally he slowed
down and all the other bats excitedly milled around
him. "Now, do you see that giant oak over there?" he
asked.
"YES, YES, YES" all the other bats SCREAMED in
a frenzy.
"Good" said the first bat, "because I fuckin didn't!"

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

New Career
A gynecologist had a burning desire to change
careers and become a mechanic. So she found out
from her local tech college what was involved,
signed up for evening classes and attended
diligently, learning all she could. When time for the
practical exam approached, she prepared carefully
for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous
skill. When the results came back, she was surprised
to find that she had obtained a mark of 150%.
Fearing an error, she called the instructor, saying "I
don't want to appear ungrateful for such an
outstanding result, but I wondered if there had been
an error which needed adjusting." The instructor
said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart
perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark.
You put the engine back together again perfectly,
which is also worth 50% of the mark. I gave you an
extra 50% because you did all of it THROUGH the
exhaust..."

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

Mean Old Woman
An old man and woman were married for years,
even though they hated each other. When they had a
confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard
deep into the night. The old man would shout,
"When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the
grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of
your life!" Neighbors feared him because of the
many strange occurrences that took place in their
neighborhood. The old man liked the fact he was
feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack
when he was 68. His wife had a closed casket at the
wake. After the burial, she went straight home and
began to party as if there was no tomorrow. Her
neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't
you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way
up and out of the grave and come back and haunt
you for the rest of your life?" The wife put down her
drink and said, "Let the old man dig. I had him
buried upside down.

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

AUSSIE GRASSHOPPERS
A Texas farmer goes to Australia for a vacation.
There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking.
The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the
Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at
least twice as large."
Then they walk around the ranch a little, and
the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan
immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at
least twice as large as your cows."
When the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos
hopping through the field, he asks, "And what the
heck are those?"
The Aussie replies with an incredulous look,
"Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

WHO WAS SURPRISED ?
The Father, passing thru the son's college town late
one night on a business trip, thought he would pay a
surprise visit to the boy.
Arriving at the fraternity house, he knocked
on the door.After several minutes of knocking, a
sleepy voice drifted down from a second floor
window. "Whaddya want?"
"Does Jimmy Duncan live here?" asked the
father.
"Yeah!" replied the voice. "Dump him on the
front porch and we'll take care of him in the
morning."

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

SECRET OF YOUR SUCCESS …
"Sir, What is the secret of your success?" a reporter
asked a bank president.
"Two words"
"And, Sir,what are they?"
"Right decisions."
"And how do you make right decisions?"
"One word."
"And,sir, What is that?"
"Experience."
"And how do you get Experience?"
"Two words"
"And, Sir, what are they?"
"Wrong decisions"

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

TWO KIDS …

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying next to each
other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans
over and asks, “What are you in here for?” The
second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out
and I’m a little nervous.” The first kid says, “You’ve
got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I
was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake
up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a
breeze.” The second kid then asks, “What are you
here for?” The first kid says, “A circumcision.” And
the second kid says, “Whoa, I had that done when I
was born, couldn’t walk for a year.”

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

MY THREE CHEAP SONS

The wealthy old gentleman and his wife were
celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary and their
three grown sons joined them for dinner. The old
man was rather irritated when he discovered none of
the boys had bothered to bring a gift,
and after the meal, he drew them aside.
"You're all grown men," he said, "and old
enough to hear this. Your mother and I have never
been legally married."
"What?" gasped one of the sons. "Do you
mean to say we're all bastards?"
"Yes," snapped the old man, "and cheap ones,
too!"

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

WHY MY MOM LEARNT TO PLAY
CLARINET?
My parents recently retired. Mom always wanted to
learn to play the piano, so dad bought her a piano for
her birthday.A few weeks later, I asked how she was
doing with it.
"Oh, we returned the piano." said My Dad, "I
persuaded her to switch to a clarinet instead."
"How come?" I asked.
"Because," he answered, "with a clarinet, she
can't sing."

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

Attending a wedding for the first time, Carol whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”

“Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life,” her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple. The child thought about this for a moment, then said, “So why’s the groom wearing black?”

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

Benjamin Franklin: Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

Life is not fair, please get used to it

[B.E.L.L Ent @Bell_Ent]

To the world, you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.