Ben Chaney

Writer.

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

https://t.co/G85eSywBco

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

@Rosenthaltweets Awesome

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

@thesposhow @CallMeCart Somebody did. And somebody isn’t sure you’re being honest.

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

Zamboni driver saves the day in goal for Carolina https://t.co/06DagozXKJ UB

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

@DavidChaney @MollyBrewerTV @10TV I’m sorry you’re sitting in the closure. Let us know when it opens for you.

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

@DavidChaney @richarddeitsch And why. 🙄

[Buffalo Bills @BuffaloBills]

For 100 consecutive games...
In over six seasons...
From Buffalo to San Diego to London...
She's been there.
#GoBills

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

@AerLingus You lost my golf clubs and no one will return my phone call. How can I get help?

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

Enter the HomeAway for the Holidays Sweepstakes - Today's prize is a 5-night package to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico! https://t.co/vQkva2Vz3i

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

I wonder who covers Danny Woodhead's paper route when he's on the road.

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

The moment when I reach for the stall door & realize it's not locked, and it's all mine, brings more joy to my day than it probably should.

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

#getwelljimkelly #getwellJK

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

Kind of admire the guy at the urinal with his hands on his hips. Good job on the confidence, guy.

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

Seems like the only remodeling at the new double deuce is less chicken wire and a neon sign. Seems risky, Dalton or no Dalton.

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

I'm concerned that percentages 2 through 98 aren't being properly represented. I'll start making signs.

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

Hate littering. Hate looking cheap. Always look awkward trying to decide what to do after I drop a penny on a crowded street.

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

My pet tiger keeps giving me that "waaah, I don't have any blood left in me!" look. Too bad tiger, daddy's gotta get his Sheen on.

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

Sometimes college kids try really hard to act cool and disinterested in class. Other times they just do that when they host the Oscars.

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

My Pandora ignores every request I make to stop playing John Meyer. That’s how I know they’re f*cking.

[Ben Chaney @BenBChaney]

Until I learn how to read the body language of a non-English-speaking delivery person to know if he thinks I tipped him enough, I’m fasting.