Ben Rose

Self Isolating and Depressed since 1989

[Ben Rose @BenRoseComedy]

Beef Wellington is just a corndog for the rich

[Ben Rose @BenRoseComedy]

Paying $50 to cut down my own Christmas tree and feel like a lumberjack for 8 minutes like any REAL man does

[Ben Rose @BenRoseComedy]

Shock Top, the Applebee’s of craft beer. Now available at your local “Is this a town?”

[Ben Rose @BenRoseComedy]

QAnon is just satanic panic in 5G

[#StopCopCity @ChuckModi1]

“I’m hear to laugh at people & this ridiculous crybaby attempt to say the votes don’t count if we don’t get what we want. And I’ve come to feast on their tears”

#MillionMoronMarch #DCProtests

[Ben Rose @BenRoseComedy]

Do jails have escalators?

[Ben Rose @BenRoseComedy]

@realDonaldTrump You up?

[Ben Rose @BenRoseComedy]

@business Oh THAT corner?

[Ben Rose @BenRoseComedy]

Millions of children go hungry every night?

GOP: Moonbase

Ending the Pandemic?

GOP: Moon. Base.

Healthcare plan?

GOP: M👏O👏O👏N👏B👏A👏S👏E👏

Climate change?

GOP: Also Mars

[Republicans @Republicans]

Pres. Trump is fighting for YOU! Here are some of his priorities for a 2nd term:

*Establish Permanent Manned Presence on The Moon
*Send the 1st Manned Mission to Mars
*Build World’s Greatest Infrastructure System
*Establish National High-Speed Wireless Internet Network

[Ben Rose @BenRoseComedy]

Same thing happened to me trying to leave a negative review on a potato salad recipe I found online.

The only logical conclusion I can come up with is that the deep state is real and it loves potato salad

[Gregg Jarrett @GreggJarrett]

I find it odd, if not curious, that the moment I hit “send” on my column that’s highly critical of Joe Biden my Wi-Fi service disconnected. Inexplicably, it will be out all day. Never happened before. Probably just a coincidence. I drove to the local store and sent the column .

[Ben Rose @BenRoseComedy]

I guess it covered everything then

[Ben Rose @BenRoseComedy]

@kanyewest Nice toilet man. Really nice. You should be proud.

[Ben Rose @BenRoseComedy]

@LordBaruch @kirstiealley @realDonaldTrump

[Ben Rose @BenRoseComedy]

My girlfriend accidentally bought maternity bras instead of regular bras and I’ve just been encouraging her to keep them

[Ben Rose @BenRoseComedy]

@LordBaruch Haha yeah he was just happy he could name a black person besides Obama

[Ben Rose @BenRoseComedy]

I don’t believe in omens but this feels like an omen right?

[Ben Rose @BenRoseComedy]

Mike Pence having a red eye and attracting flies like an animated corpse feels a little over the top

[Ben Rose @BenRoseComedy]

Mike Pence looks like Jeff Sessions after he made the Big wish

[Ben Rose @BenRoseComedy]

Holy shit Kamala Harris is debating Gollem from Lord of the Rings right now. Weird year

#VPDebate