Official Parody Account

I'd rather be playing Hūsker Dū.

[Official Parody Account @BenSchwind]

March 3rd we're in the Redstone Room for a "Crow" release party. We'll have CDs and vinyl of both records as well as new merch. Make sure you grab your tickets.

Date: Fri, Mar 3 • 8:00 PM CST
Location: 129 Main Street, Davenport, IA 52801
https://t.co/ei2as42OUa

[Official Parody Account @BenSchwind]

This is what my Twitter exists for.

Who wants my LARVA? #giveaway #win https://t.co/tlwnyZJvI2

[Official Parody Account @BenSchwind]

Did You Know: If Salmo the Baker ever acquires bread in his inventory, he will go to either the Two Sisters Lodge or the West Weald Inn, take a bite out of the bread, and crash the game? To avoid this happening, he has been programmed to not seek out bread, despite being a baker.

[Official Parody Account @BenSchwind]

A great Thanksgiving tradition that no one else in my family wants to watch. Their loss I guess.

JOIN US! Become an #MST3KShowmaker and help us #MakeMoreMST3K by pledging to support Season 14! https://t.co/ZViPblJf4S https://t.co/4arIgYhbjo

[Official Parody Account @BenSchwind]

In all seriousness though, that really did a lot for my self esteem.

[Official Parody Account @BenSchwind]

Someone I don't know who picked up our new CD at the Dubuque show a couple weekends ago tagged the band page in a reel saying the song I wrote was their favorite one on the record.

[Official Parody Account @BenSchwind]

@themathstalio @TopherDisgrace "Alright so who are your guys MJF?"

[Official Parody Account @BenSchwind]

The Bucks are playing like someone playing 2k who's never played 2k before.

[Official Parody Account @BenSchwind]

@RickSuperior I may already have an inside source working on it haha. The last time he was at Wrigley was my favorite show I've ever seen

[Official Parody Account @BenSchwind]

Greatest tweet

[Erik Peterson @JackThiccolson]

Aaron Rodgers Gollum
🤝
Wandering around in the dark with their one ring

[Official Parody Account @BenSchwind]

After seeing Glass Onion and Knock at the Cabin you can just sign me up for seeing every movie Batista is in. That man is just too good.

[Official Parody Account @BenSchwind]

The Nets now have 35 picks in the next 3 years

[Bulls on CHSN @CHSN_Bulls]

The Bulls are interested in signing Russell Westbrook, should he receive a buyout, according to reports

MORE:

https://t.co/2HMmwDJhvI

[Official Parody Account @BenSchwind]

Also could have used the "why don't he love me" clip

[The Dan Le Batard Show @LeBatardShow]

Ben Simmons tomorrow at practice

[Field Yates @FieldYates]

Russell Westbrook signed a 5-year, $205M extension with the Thunder in 2017, then the largest contract in NBA history.

In the 5 years of that deal:

Year 1: Played for the Thunder
Year 2: Traded to Rockets
Year 3: Traded to Wizards
Year 4: Traded to Lakers
Year 5: Traded to Jazz

[Official Parody Account @BenSchwind]

👇👇

[Robin Lopez @rolopez42]

This is just like that time in Muppets Take Manhattan when the Muppets, after unsuccessfully attempting to take Manhattan, split up and leave Manhattan.

[Official Parody Account @BenSchwind]

And as quickly as it started, the Brookyln Nets contending run has ended.

[Official Parody Account @BenSchwind]

After she told me that she waited like I was gonna go "oh yea that's Stephen, he's a good guy"

[Official Parody Account @BenSchwind]

I feel like some of you think I exaggerate this stuff but I literally was just walking into a HyVee and an employee waives me over to them. I walk over and they go "how tall are you?" "We had someone in here the other day that was 6'10, can you imagine being that tall?"