Ben

Trying not to let being a dad be my whole personality, but if you could read each of my tweets with the implied “As a father,...” before them, it’ll save space.

[Denis B. Huppert 🇫🇷 @dennisbhooper]

This was designed in a lab to be believed by Bill Maher

[James Medlock @jdcmedlock]

This is the way the country ends. Not with a whimper, but with a 'grok, is this true?'

[Ben @Ben_Abu_Magnus]

the half time summary is brought to us by a psoriasis medication

[Ben @Ben_Abu_Magnus]

@LolOverruled i’m just glad she didn’t leave in a plane

[Prem Thakker @prem_thakker]

The bill Congress just passed:
–Cuts UNRWA funding
–Sends Israel another $3.8 billion
–Limits aid to the Palestinian Authority if "the Palestinians" initiate or support an International Criminal Court investigation against Israel for human rights crimes https://t.co/tBp9u1Jaej

[Ben @Ben_Abu_Magnus]

historically, “havana syndrome” just means “precondition for socialized healthcare.” pretty cool for ferrets

[Alexander Aviña @Alexander_Avina]

"US government is trying to give ferrets Havana Syndrome" https://t.co/n2BmlLZh5v

[Ben @Ben_Abu_Magnus]

the show “love is blind” is so wild to me as a concept. like, how did they find this many blind people for a whole show

[Ben @Ben_Abu_Magnus]

trump bravely leading the march to the capitol, what could have been.

[Ben @Ben_Abu_Magnus]

@BillP1951 @Keltie4Congress @POTUS what does the 1951 in your name mean?

[Ben @Ben_Abu_Magnus]

@GoodPoliticGuy "I think that's a hard position to hold"
yeah me too bro

[Ben @Ben_Abu_Magnus]

my wife reading our son’s bedtime story in her bane voice.

[Ben @Ben_Abu_Magnus]

@ConceptualBIG @willmenaker OUR little prince

[Ben @Ben_Abu_Magnus]

I think most of the time these petitions are ineffectual and have no purpose. I'm hoping I'm wrong this time.

Mandalay restaurant.: Support the return of Mandalay restaurant. - Sign the Petition! https://t.co/Qy9TrYE9ZN via @Change

[Ben @Ben_Abu_Magnus]

@StrikeDebt @POTUS you gotta see this, bro

[Ben @Ben_Abu_Magnus]

The best part of the super bowl is that it gives really degenerate gamblers a chance to be quirky with how they go broke.

[Ben @Ben_Abu_Magnus]

@WovenPauli @JoshuaPotash if those kids could read, they’d be very upset.

[Ben @Ben_Abu_Magnus]

@adamjohnsonNYC yay I was just saying the other day that we need more people exactly like this

[Ben @Ben_Abu_Magnus]

@HarrisTracking This is just because a lot of people have no idea who she is.

[Ben @Ben_Abu_Magnus]

I won’t be hearing any dark meat slander on this holiest of days.