Ben Wilken

Nothing going on, like at all

[Ben Wilken @Ben_wilken]

@MrJackson852 @jollyjoana

[Denny’s @DennysDiner]

*school*
teacher: are you prepared for the exam?
student, pulling out a fork and knife: i’m always prepared for eggs ham

[Denny’s @DennysDiner]

customer: any suggestions?
waitress: personally? i love our pancakes, eggs, you name it
customer, to pancakes: you are now jonathan
jonathan: i love you dad

[Ben Wilken @Ben_wilken]

@jollyjoana You so cute

[Rachel Dratch @TheRealDratch]

I love how people are saying these kids are actors. Have you *seen* a high school play?

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Report: Make It Stop https://t.co/oFmZKt7alp

[Denny’s @DennysDiner]

every time you leave your leftovers in a booth a ghost is unleashed upon the earth.

[Denny’s @DennysDiner]

*a slice of bread gets in trouble*
bread: oh no, i’m toast!

audience erupts, focus groups rave, 30 million people tune in, critics go insane, emmy’s are won, television changes forever, toast buys 7.8 mil estate, wants to direct.

[Denny’s @DennysDiner]

for the last time, detergent pods are NOT on our menu

[Denny’s @DennysDiner]

millennials! now is the time to invest in pitcoin. every order of avocado toast brings you one step closer to owning a home

[ClickHole @ClickHole]

Incredible: This Inner-City Teacher Can Finally Use The Private Jet Tax Credit To Take Her Kids On A Field Trip To The Louvre https://t.co/uXAxGsgP2N

[Ben Wilken @Ben_wilken]

I don’t often say what I think about politics because people have fragile egos. But, fuck you if you support the way this tax “reform” got passed. Governing isn’t a game to win, and throwing out procedure in the name of victories is slimy, especially when it hurts so many people

[Ben Wilken @Ben_wilken]

@thedovster Disliked

[ClickHole @ClickHole]

A Snake Is Biting Me Right Now. https://t.co/ePm5y1Eggm

[Ben Wilken @Ben_wilken]

@theglennedmonds @thedovster I stand with gleb

[Ben Wilken @Ben_wilken]

@theglennedmonds @thedovster are you trying to tell us you came up with this?

[Trevor Nardone @TrevorNardone]

Message 2 all friends and recent players im holding a 10th prestige lobby 4 800 Microsoft points Xbox live message me if ur interested

[Ben Wilken @Ben_wilken]

@CFethke you're at least the 4th person to make this comparison, so it must be true

[Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome]

Big Bang Theory is FAKE SCIENCE. I'm toldd Sheldon doesn’t actually have a PhD and his real name is Jim. Bad (or sick) guy!