Ben Robertson

This is our world now, the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. Rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins.

[Ben Robertson @BenjiRobertson]

@anon_opin I always offer free pickup, but with postage costs what they are, you better believe I’m charging for it.

[Ben Robertson @BenjiRobertson]

@PLACEBOWORLD Hi there - your mailing says the Port Solent screening is on 5th November, but the cinema's website says it's the 6th. Which is correct?

[Ben Robertson @BenjiRobertson]

@fesshole This is why I love hockey umpiring. Hand up? That’s an admission that you touched it last, ball given to the opposition.

[Ben Robertson @BenjiRobertson]

@wimpykid my 10 year old just finished your latest - he reckons he’s got every book except one, can you spot which one he’s missing? #DiaryOfAWimpyKid

[Anon Opin. @anon_opin]

If you encourage your kids to support a big six club when they live nowhere near, just because you support them is bad parenting. Sentencing them to a life of watching 1 or 2 league cup matches a season if they're lucky, and nobody taking them seriously in football conversations.

[Anon Opin. @anon_opin]

The Tories should just save time and effort by immediately starting the process to replace their new leader. It's what they're going to do anyway.

[Ben Robertson @BenjiRobertson]

@beefanddairy Zincsie?

[Anon Opin. @anon_opin]

Why do boobs deserve underwiring but bollocks don't?

[Ben Robertson @BenjiRobertson]

@anon_opin It is on Macs. One of the few things they’ve got right for years.

[Marina Purkiss @MarinaPurkiss]

I CANNOT WATCH THIS ANYMORE

I CANNOT KEEP BRACING MYSELF OVER MY TIMELINE

THIS IS NOT SELF-DEFENCE

[Ben Robertson @BenjiRobertson]

@fesshole I wouldn’t recommend it. I would guess they get my name wrong 50% of the time. “Dan” is the most usual, but I’ve had everything from “Bin” to “Ban” and even once “Hugo”. No idea how.

[Ben Robertson @BenjiRobertson]

@anon_opin Denhay. Available in supermarkets.

[Assal Rad @AssalRad]

You can’t even tell in the first headline that Israel is the one bombing Lebanon. The contrast in headlines is unbelievable.

[Ben Robertson @BenjiRobertson]

@anon_opin I still know all the words.

[Ben Robertson @BenjiRobertson]

@dailyecho Sounds reasonable to me - £9 million spend to save £30 million A YEAR subsequently.
Do you actually have any real journalists left @dailyecho ?

[Ben Robertson @BenjiRobertson]

@robsills_ @solentsport @guywhittingham So, why wouldn’t it be easy for them to win?

[Ben Robertson @BenjiRobertson]

@RosyDarling66 @anon_opin He is my spirit animal.

[The Joiners @joinerslive]

🌸 SHOW ANNOUNCEMENT 🌸

Saturday 31st May we finally welcome back the one and only @shonenknifeofficial to Joiners!

“When I finally got to see them live, I was transformed into a hysterical nine-year-old girl at a Beatles concert.” - Kurt Cobain

🎟️ https://t.co/PR2j1vP0EW 👾

[Ben Robertson @BenjiRobertson]

@anon_opin Oh wow. What a hot take.