Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖

💖Your resident strawberry shortcake. 💜head empty. no thoughts. 💙 she/her, 27

[⭒ @melpantheress]

“i will not settle for a shitty realtionship”

https://t.co/pXNPWAgUsb

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

Danny Elfman can’t fool me, I hear him reusing music from Dark Shadows in the Wednesday finale.

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

@IamDesRocs Blissful (facebook) marketplace??

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

7? I’m on 9 now wtf

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

… how did I make it to the current 7?

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

How nice of my neighbour to let his loud construction men park their huge van in front of our driveway without asking us? After ignoring us every time we ask him to cut the tree that’s damaging the roof above my bedroom ☺️ what a nice man

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

Nothing says Crimbo Limbo like a Boxing Day migraine and a subsequent day of recovery in bed

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

Our cleaner brought in a bag of teddies for everyone on his DAY OFF😭😭 he’s too sweet

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

My sleeping pattern was so bad in September that 4 out of my 5 top artists were just Tchaikovsky

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

@IamDesRocs It’s tradition

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

I hope the security guys enjoyed watching me do the hot to go actions while counting tills at the desk.

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

Is it just me or does that Olympic flag look upside down?

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

Nothing like telling a child’s mother he’s ignored you asking him and his siblings to stop running 3 times with a smug look every time he passes you; and watching her go absolutely off on him on the first day of summer 🥰🥰

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

I have one day off and the store gets evacuated because there’s a swarm of bees wtf 😂

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

This is my life now. My niece texting me to ask if my mother (her nana) is home yet 😂😭

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

“I just don’t get why they need a whole parade”
It’s a protest. Because you won’t get beaten up for holding hands with someone 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

Witnessing Labour and Conservative post diss memes about each other on tiktok is really the best way to summarise this generation 😂

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

I love my local Starbucks 😭😭😭

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

Me two days ago: idk who I can go to pride with this year
Work: wanna get paid to go?

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

Me listening to a guy have an argument on the phone outside the station while I eat my sandwich

[☔ @Whotfismick]

me in public listening to other peoples conversations which is obviously none of my business:

[Berni 🧙🏻‍♀️🌖 @BerniHurton]

Can I survive Melanie Martinez one night and Des Rocs the next?