bernie

[bernie @BernieeDexter]

“Do you wanna watch Spider-Man 3 or....?”

“YES”

[bernie @BernieeDexter]

“I’m a stripper but I only strip to Jackson Browne songs”

[bernie @BernieeDexter]

“Made it one week with smoking. I’m gonna celebrate with a cigarette”

[bernie @BernieeDexter]

“I need to go hit my vape and listen to Soulja Boy”

[bernie @BernieeDexter]

“Does anybody want to connect to Bluetooth?”

“No cause then I’ll put on Weezer and I’ll sing and then I’ll cry”

[bernie @BernieeDexter]

“Why do people try and make food sxc?”

[bernie @BernieeDexter]

@shadyhandsaw @ghoulfriendish This is so specific wow

[bernie @BernieeDexter]

“You’ve been wearing the same UGG boots since high school”

[bernie @BernieeDexter]

“That’s probably how I got a toe fungus”

[bernie @BernieeDexter]

@shadyhandsaw There’s one in Dubuque. Let’s go

[bernie @BernieeDexter]

“Carlos O’Kelly’s is not a myth”

[Gators Daily 🐊 @GatorsDaily]

the gharial hat stays ON during sex

[bernie @BernieeDexter]

“They had her birthday party at Chili’s”

[bernie @BernieeDexter]

“I bought a rice cooker today”

[bernie @BernieeDexter]

@BiehlTalk I liked the twist at the end. GODZILLLLLLLA

[RINA. @LAVIDAPRADA]

me if i met robert pattinson

[friend @VicExotic]

i’m not having fun

[bernie @BernieeDexter]

Justin Bieber is such a fart

[bernie @BernieeDexter]

“Those lemon bars got me fucked up”

[bernie @BernieeDexter]

“She like kayaks..she’s hot”