Justin Beslity

Eco-hydrologist, Post-Doctoral Fellow at the Biosphere 2 (University of Arizona), and NY Giants Football Fan

[Justin Beslity @BeslityJustin]

This is like watching someone go halfway down on 20 push-ups. None of those count #FakeKisser

[Guinness World Records @GWR]

Most kisses in 30 seconds by a pair 😘 195 by Renato Bayma Gaia and Naiara Roberta Ribeiro de Marins 🇧🇷

[Justin Beslity @BeslityJustin]

Me and my friends would’ve tenderized ET with hammers I can tell you that

[Maiz @MexicanMaiz]

Grilling the carne asada already waiting for the Mexico game 🇲🇽

[Justin Beslity @BeslityJustin]

Sadly this would’ve worked on me in 1917

[Justin Beslity @BeslityJustin]

Wives are great because they’ll ask questions about your aging body like “was that your jaw clicking” and you get to say “yeah I think I have TMJ”

[Justin Beslity @BeslityJustin]

One of my favorite songs was ruined forever when I put it on at a party and many audibly booed

[Justin Beslity @BeslityJustin]

@mertcentury Haiti needs this more

[Justin Beslity @BeslityJustin]

Explaining the importance of international pest control to an American:
“Okay imagine no burger”

[NBC News @NBCNews]

A flesh-eating parasite that had been kept out of U.S. livestock for decades has been detected in Texas, threatening the nation’s cattle industry and food supply at a time when prices are already high. https://t.co/p011Q4crOe

[Justin Beslity @BeslityJustin]

Sitting at the bar and having a pleasant conversation with the bartender or fellow patrons is one of the great simple pleasures in life

[Kristina Bolten @Kristinartz]

People who eat alone at restaurants! what's the reason? 🤔 🍽️

[Justin Beslity @BeslityJustin]

Men with no assets and no gf are always saying you need a prenup

[_Chase😈 @Ankara_inc]

Caller: “I’m 26, about to get engaged, but my net worth is way higher than my girlfriend’s. Do I need a prenup?”

Dave Ramsey: “Okay, what does ‘different net worth’ actually mean?”

Caller: “$50K from my grandparents for a house, $50K in my truck, $165K across my 401K and accounts, $150K left in a college fund… She’s finishing PA school with about $120K in debt.”

Dave Ramsey: “And what are you making a year?”

Caller: “About $120k/yr.”

Dave Ramsey: “You’ve got around $600K to your name at 26… honestly? That’s not enough net worth to warrant a prenup. If you’re comfortable, skip it.”
$600K net worth at 26. Fiancée in PA school with debt. Dave says skip the prenup

[Justin Beslity @BeslityJustin]

@mertcentury At the right distance from the impact site yes, until the shockwave sprayed glass in their face

[Justin Beslity @BeslityJustin]

@mertcentury I hate to say it but it does impact my opinion of people who don’t understand grammar

[Justin Beslity @BeslityJustin]

@65yOld_man Books? Hmm…a bit outdated. Can you please present the material in 10 seconds while showing me who would win between 10 million Tung Tung Tung Sahurs and 2 million Mile Tysons?

[Justin Beslity @BeslityJustin]

Do not scare me like this again @Reuters

[Reuters @Reuters]

David Attenborough, 'the voice for nature,' turns 100 https://t.co/Bj5DpBIY7w https://t.co/Bj5DpBIY7w

[Justin Beslity @BeslityJustin]

@mertcentury I agree, though it is slightly annoying when they try to insist that their vegan alternative is as good as even a vegetarian option. I usually just grin and eat it

[Justin Beslity @BeslityJustin]

@mertcentury If “the straight dope” is the true information, what’s “the gay dope”

[Justin Beslity @BeslityJustin]

@mertcentury Imagine the nicknames they’d come up for you if you pissed you pants tho

[Justin Beslity @BeslityJustin]

@mertcentury Both Virginians it must be said

[Justin Beslity @BeslityJustin]

@mertcentury If we’re going to do capital punishment this is the best option. Ideally we don’t do it at all