Best Of Tumblr

I search Tumblr for the best, funniest and wittiest quotes that appear each day from members on their site. This account is not associated with Tumblr.

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How much do islands cost I want one

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Why do good shows get cancelled when American Idol is in its 13th season

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Could you please hold this for a second *hands you my problems and runs away*

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It makes me so happy that strangers find me followable

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I don't need a date I need cash

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People who constantly radiate bad vibes are so exhausting like how are you always so that way

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Do rude people know they're rude

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Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up? in thirty minutes? in 2 hours? in 7 years?? no one can be sure

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I have the talent of getting tired without doing nothing

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I am not the same person at 8am and 8pm

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Imagine bumping into 2007 you at the mall

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I like to hang out with people that make me forget to look at my phone

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"you wear that shirt a lot" yes because I own it

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What do you mean "4 minute shower" it takes me 4 minutes to get the water to the right temperature

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"Money won't make you happy."
Yeah....financial stability is horrible.

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Act like you trust people, but don't.

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People who randomly decide to compliment you are so important

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Is anyone really happy with their nose

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I'm okay with spending $40 on food but won't buy a $40 shirt

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Google is great because you can ask something really obvious and nobody has to know