BettercallSatan

Are you having: Relationship problems? Contract disputes? Career or money issues? Just send me a tweet for some (free) advice.
This is a satire.

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@Peston You're fucking nicked Peston.

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@wonderwomanshel Payday two days away?

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@LisaLampanelli A spider just took a crap in your bathroom.

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@alexandramusic You're welcome.

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@MarkWright_ you're on a highway to hell mate, you just don't realise it.

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@robinince In that case, I tip my hat Sir.

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@alanbrazil Have you set off an avalanche yet?

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@robinince So none of your fellow comedians then?

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@Herring1967 I'm going to follow him and unfollow you, just for the chaos of it all.

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@edballsmp @MorleyNeil @RoryBickerton @lisamulherin Possibly the most boring tweet ever.

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@edballsmp Just don't take out a PFI loan to buy one.

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@MissKatiePrice You string a sentence together without saying fuck?

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@MrDuncanJames Take a sleeping pill then.

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@oldpicsarchive @raymonddelauney Are you sure it wasn't just non filter fags?

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@JasonManford @MelandSue No skypeing please.

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@Dan_1884 Filthy in a hot porn way?

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@AlbertBrooks Next you'll be fucking the exhaust pipe.

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@RodneyMarsh10 @CHLiquid Try channel 203416

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@serafinowicz @paulfeig A lot of younger people will think that Dambusters is a porno about squirters.

[BettercallSatan @BettercallSatan]

@wonderwomanshel What about migration of the printing ink into the food?