Brittany Alexis

Christian, Attorney, Comic. I guess there really are some things money can’t buy. Like a Twitter account.

[Brittany Alexis @Bfeldz]

@OnlyZans Tyra: I’m going to aggressively bully you with all my insecure friends on tv.
Also tyra: why are you crying, Robin?

[alex turntine @turntineforwhat]

Y'all mocking his outfit in the replies but this is his signature style. Buddy Guy has said that he wears polka dots as a tribute to his late mother, and overalls to honor his sharecropper parents. He is the eldest of five children and he grew up picking cotton in Louisiana

[Brittany Alexis @Bfeldz]

just started watching “couples therapy.” the streets are rough but the houses arent much better😭

[6ɪx✦ @ok6ixx]

my parents have been married for 19 years, together for 20. i asked them what they were doing for valentine’s and they both looked disgusted, said it’s commercial, and that they hate it. then my dad told me every year he sends her flowers, her favorite chocolates, and a card pretending to be a secret admirer, because even though they think the holiday is stupid, he wants her to have chocolate.
i asked my mom about the secret admirer and she said it’s a running joke: he spends the day pretending he’s going to beat up the secret admirer, and they both know it’s him. it’s been going on for twenty years, and my mom keeps the cards. if that isn’t love, i don’t know what is

[Whemïmor @hy_wemmy]

I found a bra in his suitcase and he said it’s from when he was f@t years back. He said he had saggy titt!ěs and kept it to remind him how far he’s come with his weight loss journey.

[Brittany Alexis @Bfeldz]

these are the people you have to pick from in the dating pool. This is the selection.

[cold 🥑 @coldhealing]

Walking around New York on the first warm day. Seeing so many couples who met on Hinge that clearly are not looksmatched. The summer will melt what winter hid

[Brittany Alexis @Bfeldz]

@SteveSkojec the whole time lol I was born in 1992 and even I had these things

[Rae @Raelthy]

My mom has a little notebook where she writes down every movie she watches and a few of her thoughts about it. I told her about Letterboxd & she said "does everyone need an audience for their hobbies now?"

[SAVNT 🤴🏾 @SAVVNT]

I just saw a girl who turned 25 and her caption was

“When a dime turns into a quarter”

[Brittany Alexis @Bfeldz]

@babyikea69 I mean she probably was because she seems like a talented, beautiful, fun, and kind person. This is just hating to hate. The music and writing are amazing. That’s before you get to her vocals which are gorgeous.

[Brittany Alexis @Bfeldz]

Olivia Dean makes music for true lover women who think that whimsy and maturity and emotion can go hand in hand. If you don’t like it then it’s not for you. Also you have terrible taste.

[Freyy @Freyy_is]

an elderly man was once asked how he managed to stay married for over 50 years. his answer was unexpectedly blunt: "there were many mornings where I woke up, looked at my wife, and didn't feel a single spark of romance. i was tired, or she was irritable, or life was simply heavy."

when asked if that lack of "feeling" worried him, he shook his head.
​"i didn't marry a feeling," he explained. "i married a human being. On the days the feeling went missing, i simply worked harder to serve her. i made the coffee exactly how she liked it.

i listened to her stories even if I’d heard them a dozen times. i chose to act like a man in love until the feeling decided to show back up."

i learned the same lesson from my father and the men in my community : real love isn't something you find; it's something you build when you’d rather be doing something else.

​

[Degen CPA @DrewVento]

Those who really believe all women all go for the top 5% have never seen the Are We Dating the Same Guy Facebook groups.

[Breakfast in Monaco🌹 @__Wavve]

He’s talking about a guy that won 17 Grammys before the “social media” stuff started btw

[Brittany Alexis @Bfeldz]

I go to this one restaurant and order the chicharrones and rice and by the 5ish time I did this, she asked me if I wanted my usual. I was elated.

[Alyssa 🌻 @alyssaleann]

One thing I wanted to do this year was become “a regular” somewhere

So my husband and I decided to meet at our favorite locally-owned Mexican restaurant every Thursday after work, and I wondered how many weeks it would take to become a regular

The shockingly low answer: 3 weeks

This evening, the guy who does all the front of house jobs asked us about ourselves, and as we were leaving, he said, “see you next week!”

[constans @constans]

Public schools already say the pledge every day. Vivek doesn’t know this because he, like me, went to private school, and private schools don’t feel obligated to engage in these performative rituals.

[BonkDaCarnivore @BonkDaCarnivore]

All of these people were given pardons.

[No Lie with Brian Tyler Cohen @NoLieWithBTC]

Kristi Noem: “We can't trust our government anymore.”

Bash: “You are the government.”

Noem: “Yes, that’s what I’m saying.”

[Brittany Alexis @Bfeldz]

@HazelAppleyard He had 9 + months and this when he decided to ask…

[Not Chadkasa @Chadkasa]

PSA: if you’re staying at a hotel during a con, the shower is completely free to use and even comes with free shampoo and body wash. You don’t have to pay to use it, it comes with your room. You should use it actually.