Big T

[Big T @BigBaldT]

@absoluteradio please can we have some Queens of the Stone Age for me and my “Homme”-bres?

[Big T @BigBaldT]

Didn't set out to spoil my ballot paper today but I had the shits and there's no toilet paper in those damn booths! #voted #brownparty

[Big T @BigBaldT]

Twitter hiatus due to being held captive in an Argentinian wine cellar for months. Wifi has been terrible and the sex even worse #itgotmessi

[Big T @BigBaldT]

I’m actually not bald at all, I just have a very large forehead #fivehead

[Big T @BigBaldT]

Bit worried about all the local chicas I've been shagging, when I asked them for a "little head" I meant a blowjob! #zika

[Big T @BigBaldT]

Colombia has been ok so far but getting a bit sick of people doing lines off my scalp #cokehead

[Big T @BigBaldT]

Should have brought more suncream with me - I look like a hard boiled egg dipped in ketchup #slaphead #dontfuckingslapmyhead

[Big T @BigBaldT]

Sad to leave my caretaking career though: underage girls and 24hr access to the floor buffer for that extra dome shine #baldheads #baldcunts

[Big T @BigBaldT]

I’ve moved to Colombia to open my new business: Toby’s Toupes and Pubic Wig Emporium … it’s gonna be a hairy few months #shitpuns

[Big T @BigBaldT]

My year in numbers:
3-Girls I've filled full of cum
2-Kgs of meat I still can't eat in one go
1-Failed cycling proficiency test
0-Haircuts

[Big T @BigBaldT]

I'd say the worst thing about being bald is when people come up to me in the street and shake my head like a magic 8 ball.

[Big T @BigBaldT]

Sat watching the strictly come dancing final and none of these schmucks have a clue ... get those shoulders involved! #dothetobytwerk

[Big T @BigBaldT]

Was just on the way to the cinema and went to fart but shat myself by accident #theforceawakens #wishithadnt

[Big T @BigBaldT]

Recent twitter hiatus due to austronaut training but that ginger prick got the job cos I kept farting in the shuttle #housdenwehaveaproblem

[Big T @BigBaldT]

My favourite TV, last years rankings in brackets:
1. The Bill (DNF)
2. Corrie (2)
3. Uni Chal (1)
4. The chase (3)
5. Catchphrase (5)

[Big T @BigBaldT]

History ball tonight followed by a night on the town ... watch out ladies #handjobhousden

[Big T @BigBaldT]

Workout routine for the week ahead.

Mon: Fingers
Tues: Fingers
Wed: Fingers
Thurs: Fingers
Fri: Fingers
Sat: Fingers
Sun: Rest

[Big T @BigBaldT]

Had a lot of people today asking what I use to wax my dome - its mayonnaise mostly #imworthit

[Big T @BigBaldT]

Last game with @SHSRFC today for myself and @bonker_93. Favourite bit was when we played that game at that place. #propstars #memories

[Big T @BigBaldT]

My arsecrack is pretty sore today, probably because I'm always on the fence lol #sudacrem