Michael Carter, JD, CPA

UT - Austin ΣΦΕ alum | Cary-Grove high grad | CFO Grab Ass Corp. | ‘75 biggest cock pledge of the year award winner | #watchyourdrink #AA

[Michael Carter, JD, CPA @BigCock2232]

At the public pool with my girlfriend and her nanny kids. Deadass feel like the biggest weirdo pervert ever. Doesn’t feel like it used to that’s for sure.

[Michael Carter, JD, CPA @BigCock2232]

@FreeXRcise @HawkeyeBBFan Shut upppppppppppppp damn

[Naperville Lover @NapervilleLover]

You’re in her dms, she talks to her therapist abt me.

[Michael Carter, JD, CPA @BigCock2232]

Last day of blue collar ever. Life is good.

[Michael Carter, JD, CPA @BigCock2232]

@cutkalebjohnson Make sure to flex how much you’ve donated. Works every time.

[Michael Carter, JD, CPA @BigCock2232]

@ChanceGrant23 Trust. It’s a thing.

[Michael Carter, JD, CPA @BigCock2232]

Do YNs see Tommy G with other gangs as we see other house tours?

[Michael Carter, JD, CPA @BigCock2232]

@Garvas24 @Tw00d24 got you

[Michael Carter, JD, CPA @BigCock2232]

@Nordbergloves Detective, it’s 10am. More power to you. Report back.

[Matt “Big D” Dongles @BigDBoneyard]

Schools I’d go to if I was a fucking loser:
SEC:
ACC:
Big 12:
PAC 12:
Big 10: Iowa
American:
Mountain West:
MAC:
Sun Belt:

[Ched “The Vacuum” Holmgren @ChedHolmgren]

If u can’t throw a football or a baseball I think less of u as a person.

[Michael Carter, JD, CPA @BigCock2232]

@Nordbergloves Coffee.

[Michael Carter, JD, CPA @BigCock2232]

@Tw00d24 Prove it

[Michael Carter, JD, CPA @BigCock2232]

@HeftyMarty Aka certain death

[Greg “G-Spot” Spottingham @justgspottin]

How it feels to accidentally make eye contact with a girl at the gym

[Michael Carter, JD, CPA @BigCock2232]

Twerps keep running in front of me to get a ball from Khalil Watson. Little do they know, Michael is going to push them over the centerfield fence if they keep doing it.

[Rick “Old Money” Cannons @RickTossedSalad]

Time to shorten up and foul off some pitches #2StrikeApproach

[Michael Carter, JD, CPA @BigCock2232]

Hump day.

[Chris Meglio @chris_meglio]

I speak for everyone in Iowa saying that I’d much rather let the tornado sweep me up without warning rather than the NBA finals be interrupted by this guy telling me how a tornado works.

[Michael Carter, JD, CPA @BigCock2232]

@Tw00d24 Lolllllllll get scammed