Big Dad Energy

I'm just a dad, trying to do dad things: so unfunny that it becomes funny again jokes, random social commentary, and out of shape superheroics.

[Big Dad Energy @BigDadaEnergy]

I once had a boss that offered to pay for my cellphone on the condition that I was available 24 hrs a day to answer it. My salary was 40k. He also believed being salaried no longer meant I only worked 9-5. (I was already working 8a to 8p.) When I quit, I made more money as a temp

[Big Dad Energy @BigDadaEnergy]

How do people stop enjoying new music? There are so many great artist that aren't from my "generation" of music. So many songs I would have never heard. How do you close yourself off like that??

[TMZ @TMZ]

Debbie Rowe, Michael Jackson's ex-wife and mother of 2 of his children, has never done an interview before now. TONIGHT she appears in the TMZ special, "Who Really Killed Michael Jackson." Tune in at 8/7c on @foxtv. https://t.co/6wVd4s8hbN

[Big Dad Energy @BigDadaEnergy]

It finally happened. I have a favorite. One of my twins says, "daddy, I love you..." and I'm like "aww, I love you too," and then they go, "...but I love mommy way more than you." So not that one. #dadlife

[Big Dad Energy @BigDadaEnergy]

Shout out to Lucky's dad for always playing along! #Bluey

[Big Dad Energy @BigDadaEnergy]

@TamerLikeHammer Are you hitting on me?

[Big Dad Energy @BigDadaEnergy]

The new episodes of #Bluey are out today. Would I be wrong if I changed the wifi code, so my kids can't watch without me? F/u question, can I watch it in the train to work?

[Big Dad Energy @BigDadaEnergy]

@TamerLikeHammer :(

[Big Dad Energy @BigDadaEnergy]

@netflix yo, is there a plan? I'm trying to find a reason to stay, but you just keep dropping my favorite shows. I'm one cancelation from getting cable again.

[Big Dad Energy @BigDadaEnergy]

Someday I'm going to open a store that only sells single socks, of every variety, a perfect match to every missing stock. I'm going to use the proceeds to buy Twitter.

[Big Dad Energy @BigDadaEnergy]

Since the pandemic, I've recognized friends of mine wearing a winter hat and a face mask, with a thin line open between their eyes... you really gonna tell me nobody knew who Batman and Superman were??

[Big Dad Energy @BigDadaEnergy]

Had a proud dad moment the other day when my son and I played our first video game together... until he beat me. Now he's banned for cheating! We'll try again when he's 4.

[Big Dad Energy @BigDadaEnergy]

I wanted to be a good #GirlDad so I watched hours of YouTube videos on doing hair. I'll let you know when I finally perfect the ponytail.

[Big Dad Energy @BigDadaEnergy]

My 3yr old daughter only calls me by my 1st name. It was cute at 1st until she started doing it at school, and I had to explain that I am her father and not just mommy's special friend.

[Big Dad Energy @BigDadaEnergy]

My 3 year-old daughter decides who drives everyday. We let her bc it's not worth 20 minutes of tears every morning, if don't. It doesn't matter how much I drank that morning.

Jokes ppl.

[Big Dad Energy @BigDadaEnergy]

@SenTedCruz Gaslighting like misquoting a children's book during confirmation hearings?

[Big Dad Energy @BigDadaEnergy]

@ktbattle Chicago too

[Big Dad Energy @BigDadaEnergy]

Everyone loves the quote "write drunk. Edit sober." until I do it at work. Now all of a sudden it a "problem" and "you weren't even writing anything." Drunkenness is a progression, dammit. You don't start off drunk... naked, and passed out on your supervisor's desk.

[Big Dad Energy @BigDadaEnergy]

I thought stepping on Legos in the middle of the night was just a comedic trope, now I'm thinking building a Lego house and moving into it