Big Sam

best manager in the world. Parody apparently.

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

Crystal Palace? Do I fucking have to?

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

@IcelandFoods I'm up shit creek and the paddle is broke. I have nothing to lose.

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

@IcelandFoods I'm all ears?

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

Follow back @JobsiteUK ?

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

Currently listening to:

Justin Bieber - Is it too late now to say sorry.

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

My record as England manager

Games: 1, Wins: 1, Win Ratio: 100%

I'm the greatest England manager to ever exist!

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

Follow back @FA? I'm sorry

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

Of course I took bungs over the years. You think I picked Michael Ricketts every week out of choice?

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

Anyone know any decent lawyers?

I'm asking for a friend.

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

Can't wait to walk this group then get knocked out in the second round at the World Cup.

My plan is coming together

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

Thank fuck for that. I'd fell asleep.

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

Fuck this I'm putting Harry Kane back on corners

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

Oi @petercrouch pick that phone up.

There's a captains armband here waiting for you.

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

Working with players like Danny Rose and Ryan Bertrand will be a breeze.

When you've coached the likes of Ricardo Gardener it comes easy

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

Quick update: Still not tracked down Michael Ricketts but it won't be long now, I have Greg Dyke on the case.

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

Have the decorators in at the FA today sorting out my office.

They are installing my 10ft signed Ivan Campo poster

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

The last thing I said to Lee Cattermole was "Don't worry Lee, I'll make your England dream a reality"

Eric Dier will be dissapointed.

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

Long text conversation with Kevin Davies this morning but I'm getting somewhere.

He's the man to lead the line in Russia for me.

[Big Sam @BigSamTheMan]

Intense talks this morning between the Nigerian and England embassy. Hoping to change Jay Jay Okocha's nationality to English.