Kevin McCallister

My folks keep fucking off on holiday & leaving me & the social services refused to get involved. Saving Xmas all year round. Complete & utter parody!

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

@WalkingDead_ler for someone who's Twitter name is Walking Dead Fan you're pretty fickle ain't ya? Yes it gets better.

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

@BigMarv1 @therealbricktop tell ya what biggun feel free to bring your 27 followers down and you can all tell me what a cunt I am #bored

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

@FrankandSincere but they thought it was a good idea to do it in a built up metropolis. Plus Michael Bay really is a dicksplash

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

@FrankandSincere well, since the whole scene was filmed in the Nevada desert you would think there would be safer places for a military evac

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

@TheRealBrickTop only if one of has leukaemia... Or AIDS, that'll be slightly more tragic

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

Just watching transformers. Really fucking clever to start a battle & evacuation in the middle of a city. Well done Michael Bay you fucknut

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

@IamChasdingle alright chas, you still dogging on the Dales? Our Buzz reckons you gave him a hummer in a Datsun Cherry

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

Just spotted the beardy old snow shovelling fuck doing a great big dirty beer shite on my mums flower bed. Twat beat me to it! #WhatNow

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

Do you reckon they use midgets in couch and bed adverts to make them look bigger?

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

#ff @FearTheWolfman
He's big & he's hairy
He's rapey & he's scary
90's badass with a 70's perm
Give him a follow or he'll give you his germs

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

@woodhousecurtis you #ledge my neighbour said to tell you he thinks you're a nob. Then he turned his music up. Any chance of a visit?

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

So cold I think I can feel my foreskin growing back

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

Happy Mother's Day to all mums (except Kerry Katona who should just drink a bottle of stardrops and call it a day)

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

Our Buzz went for a chlamydia test a few days back. Rang up pretending to be his doctor saying he had AIDS. He's been crying for 3 hours now

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

Why does bird shit always have that black stuff in the middle

[Sinbad Brookside @SinbadBrookie]

Dear #mufc fans, you didn't get knocked out because of a red card, you got knocked out cause they scored one more than you did. #maths

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

Well the results are in. 35% scrunch and 65% fold..

Any fella who folds to wipe his arse is a complete and utter weapon. #GoInRough

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

Just convinced Buzz they found horse meat in Heinz tomato soup. He's going fucking spastic!

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

Fucking hell! The only place they HAVEN'T found horse DNA is in horses #AllTastesLikePandaAnyway

[Kevin McCallister @Big_Kev_Mac]

Our Buzz has launched a condom full of piss at uncle frank. Baldy old stingebag nonce is going mental saying he's gonna press charges.