Neptune 🪐

Barbarian at your gate.

[Trey @treydayway]

Just found out the older hot lady at work is younger than me

[Neptune 🪐 @Bill2theworld]

I am no longer a smoker.

[Neptune 🪐 @Bill2theworld]

Smoking cigarettes on a regular basis will make you cough blood You learn something new everyday.

[Neptune 🪐 @Bill2theworld]

Me after listening to that YG album

[6ɪx✦ @ok6ixx]

So my dad has been ending every phone call with "stay dangerous" instead of "goodbye" for like six months now. We all thought he was just being a weird dad. Turns out he's been mishearing the ending of a podcast he listens to. The host says "stay curious" but my dad is slightly deaf in one ear. He's been going around telling his coworkers, my grandmother, and apparently his DOCTOR to "stay dangerous" this entire time. My mom only found out because his doctor called to check if everything was okay at home. My dad has now decided he likes his version better and refuses to stop. Yesterday he told a nun to stay dangerous.

[PAUPE @paupecf]

💣🚨 | ÚLTIMA HORA

🇨🇩 Cristiano Ronaldo estaría trabajando para obtener la nacionalidad de RD Congo

🎯 El objetivo es claro: volver a jugar este domingo frente a Uzbekistán

[lava 🏹🍎 @yiransverse]

Words used to have a meaning

[kat @yslnadi]

Realizing 11pm is no longer “early” it is a direct threat to my tomorrow

[grace @gracefishlove]

I get rlly frightened when the washing machine gets to the scary part

[sergio @spongbobfan369]

One day the wordle will be penis

[Sinking 🇿🇦🇯🇵🇩🇿🇪🇸🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇳🇴🇩🇪 @EisakuOtomo]

Listening to the GTA 6 radio make fun of capitalism after they just sold me a game with no disc at full price

[Neptune 🪐 @Bill2theworld]

🤣🤣🤣

[Fashion Ruined My Life @frmlfr]

Not true. You can use it for cooking and if you drink it your hands stop shaking.

[nell 🏳️‍⚧️🩸 @estratgen]

better to ejaculate than to ejacunever

[Neptune 🪐 @Bill2theworld]

Fucking love Veeze man.

[GIO @Iuhwalk]

i still think back to this funny ass shit

[Neptune 🪐 @Bill2theworld]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Aspersion Caster @AspersionCaster]

Just 160 years ago 100% of them had masters. Look how far they've fallen.

[🇦🇱☣️ @BaldeWaves]

Madueke still has time to buy himself an e-bike and go phone snatching in Central London

[makinacı @thebeyazbaret]

Harbiden Sovyet dönemi coğrafyası resmen Star Wars evreni gibi

[ant @pcstandfor]

I kno The migos woulda had a song Called Erica Kirk😕

[Neptune 🪐 @Bill2theworld]

Vesti ka "spend dat shit"🤣🤣

[keeno ✧ @ayekeeno]

Latto had the most high-energy interaction with this fan during her recent meet and greet in LA 😭🔥

[gal౨ৎ @prtygal777]

the way the parents are mogging with that eyeliner lipstick and pose while their chopped baby is just there is killing me