Billy Gordon

Selected quotes by Billy Gordon as heard by other members of J Roddy Walston & The Business (@JRoddyBusiness).

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

You learn from the best. I can’t remember who told me that.

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

Michigan roads are the worst. You always feel like you get milkshook on them.

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

They’re gonna bring us all down, those damn ticks.

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

“Honestly penis stuff is way worse than mouth stuff.” - On injuries

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

I hit a point in my life where I don't understand anything anymore. And that was about seven years ago.

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

On weed lollipops: "I did it for two minutes yesterday and I was fucked for hours. I don't know. I guess I'm just a hard-sucker guy."

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

"We don't want anybody being all 'I bought a lighter from J Roddy and lit my fucking eyeball on fire.'"

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

"What kind of parents name their kid 'Macauley Culkin'? That's so stupid."

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

"He's so bad at drums - he makes me want to kill him. I know that sounds extreme." - On Lars Ulrich

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

"Where do we even have anything anymore these days?"

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

"[Christine] McVie is the female McCartney. Just like Melissa Etheridge is the female Sammy Hagar."

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

On investment advice: "I would just say to them 'I'm spending this on guns and drugs and going to concerts.' Would that work?"

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

On the Gremlins franchise: "Gremlins 2 was certainly inferior, but it had all those specialized Gremlins, so I was into that too."

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

"Another dude's shlong in any situation is a deal breaker for me."

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

"Van-Couver Mellencamp"

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

"I'm gonna change my underwear. I farted in my underwear over a hundred times yesterday."

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

talking about his family's new dog: "She's a little more agile and better at sports and stuff... dog sports."

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

"Yeah she's hot, but her suckness makes her not hot."

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

Rod: "A Haitian mobster is gonna kill you now." Billy: "I don't give a shit."

[Billy Gordon @BillyGordonSays]

"Yeah, I've tried the wedge pillow but I prefer the husband."