cupsofcream

[Chase Passive Income @chasedownleads]

Met a billionaire for breakfast

I ordered pancakes and chocolate milk

He ordered a 32 egg omelette

I gasped

The bill came out to $957 thanks to his meal

He paid with his Amex Black Platinum Gold Medallion Card

I asked why he got such an expensive meal

"Don't worry, I always get my money's worth," he said, chuckling.

He then went to the restroom and completely destroyed the plumbing.

The business had to pay $2,700 to get the problem fixed

Guess who owns the plumbing company right next door...

Billionaires operate on a different level

[Joey Chestnut @joeyjaws]

@FunDoshiyo He doesn't love competition. His fear of losing made caused him to take a break and stop getting better. Kobayashi should stay retired. He will never be champion in any of the foods you listed

[Jordi Hays @jordihays]

Karl Marx failed to considered that making money with your boys is the most fun activity on earth

[Brady Holmer @Brady_H]

Coke Zero has 70 mg of sodium and 90 mg of potassium.

Basically an electrolyte supplement with caffeine.

Performance fuel.

[Shane B @strait_vibinn]

[at a wine tasting party with a Zyn in]

Yeah this one is giving me some very spearminty tones

[Beer Enjoyer @YungGiamatti]

If you get hangovers it's because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt

[Breitlings & Benellis @BarbourBurner]

Got racially profiled today.

Walked into a corner store I’ve never been to before. The little Vietnamese lady at the counter saw this pale face and went:

“You wan can of ZYN?”

[The Middle-earth Mixer @MiddleearthMixr]

BREAKING: Santa Claus is currently in a dogfight with Drones over the State of New Jersey

[Qagggy! @Qagggy]

This parking lot generation software is the most American thing. It's like an eagle flying a fighter jet over a french fry factory.

[donald boat @laserboat999]

Teaching a grey alien how to drive stick in a 1994 Mazda Miata. "I love how she corners," he remarks, "Not that dissimilar from flying an orb." I say, "You're right. You're absolutely right."

[Corrector CRAN.ᐟ.ᐟ @Volnutt_trigger]

Pre-lobotomy patrick star you mean the world to me

[ZAMidnightSpookshow @ZASpookshow]

Linkin Park’s new singer is a LADY? Good thing they’re not called Linkin Parallel Park! Am I right?

[≝ kennedy-sloane @beepboopsloane]

beavers are so funny why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering

[cupsofcream @BingleTurp]

@MclennanDoug Peeing in your pants should have been an option

[cupsofcream @BingleTurp]

Preferred method of peeing?

[Walker⚡️ @WalkerAmerica]

This Trump-Eminem cut deserves a freaking award. I cannot imagine the countless hours it took to create this masterpiece…

[FUJIMOTOSAN @fujimoto1954]

ドナルドさん、お祝い申し上げます！今日は祝うためにマクドナルドに行ってきたんだ。ある女性が私の新しい帽子を失礼だと言ってきたよ。私は「あなたはリターデッドか？」と言ったんだが、彼女は私が藤本だと知らないんだよ。

[Charlie Kirk @charliekirk11]

President Trump released his plan to DISMANTLE the Deep State. Now that he's President-elect, this is the most important three minutes of video on the internet right now.

HUGE 🔥🔥

[cupsofcream @BingleTurp]

Presidential elections should shift to a half PPR format

[cupsofcream @BingleTurp]

HUGE TUBE #Cupsofcream #CreamerNation