Olivia
Online
BiscuitFloater
@BiscuitFloater
Joined June 2009
2K Following
3K Followers
38.1K Posts
Pinned Tweet
You have the confidence of a much better-looking woman.
I remember the good ol' days when I had shit to tweet.
Guy 1: Man, my wife is confused.
G2: Why's that?
G1: When I said I liked it rough, I was talking about the sex, not our marriage.
A push-up bra is a lot like a bag of chips...
As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.
Even Alexa doesn't understand me.
A restraining order doesn't mean we can't hang out. We just can't hang out within 50ft. of each other. So...
Wanna play catch or something?
That twisted feeling of sheer joy you get when you find out someone with whom you've never even communicated blocked you.
I took up MMA to see what I'm made of.
It's blood...I'm made of blood.
Many women pay more attention to improving their appearance than their intelligence...
Most men are stupid but few are blind.
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