The *only* reason to create a “no cis men” space is because you don’t see trans men as men. If it was about “including marginalized men”, you’d be letting cis gay men, cis men of color, and cis disabled men in.
I’m sorry but reddit being full of 1-day-out women is not evidence of transmisandry (and neither is a porn star shitposting for other women’s then telling you to fuck off when you make it about yourself)
Can you imagine how terminally online you’d have to be to think “trans women driving trans men out of trans spaces” is a real problem? Like, have you seen the shit that goes down in real life trans organizing?
@GodRobot And like I felt something for him at the time, but interrogating those emotions, most of them were about being happy that I wasn’t afraid of him, not really happy about being with him (and in retrospect, shoulda been way more afraid than I was)
Sometimes I wonder how much of trans lesbian polyamory is something we’d still do in a society where our needs are guaranteed, and how much is because having a lot of lovers is a great way to keep yourself safe if you slip into homelessness.
@GodRobot Yeahh. Spent a while living in a group home with a tme nonbinary person who drove three different trans women out of the house before me, and I believe the reason I was third was because I let him fuck me. Been housing-insecure since he got bored of me. Other lovers have helped.
@a_messiessie Absolutely! Like I’m sympathetic to the reality that this is a dyaphoria trigger for some people and an uncomfortable conversation for even more, but I think there’s a problematic tendency to let those feelings control the discourse despite the necessity of confronting tmisogyny
I like tme/tmc language because it centers relationship to transmisogyny, but relationship to transmisogyny is, for trans people, determined by birth assignment and it’s not “reifying bioessentialist narratives” to point this out.
Birth assignment should not matter, but it does, and pretending that merely talking about how the system affects us somehow upholds the system only serves those who benefit from the system.
*extremely tme voice* I’m not a woman but it’s transphobic to exclude me from women-only spaces and if you don’t let me in you’re making the space unsafe for trans women.
It’s pretty rare that I meet a trans anarchist in real life who doesn’t have any critique of uwu trans politics, but online if I see “trans anarchist” there’s like a coin flip’s chance that you’re a catgirl who thinks trans lesbians are TERFs who oppress trans men and cis bis
The assertion that names, clothes, etc “aren’t gendered” gives permission to transmisogynists to ignore clear signals of womanhood that trans women use intentionally to communicate our gender. There are better ways to theorize gender nonconformity.
You know we’re in uwu hell when 20+ anti-idpol “leftists” who’ve been complaining about safe spaces for some time can en masse claim nonbinary identity in order to gain access to an LGBT+-exclusive safe space, and be defended as #valid by mods of a major online trans community.
@vozbosque Haven’t been cooking much lately cuz I keep needing to move, but when I’ve got a kitchen and a freezer I love making big pots of slow-cooked beef stew. Serve it over mashed potatoes and one stew lasts me months eating alone.