@Adaaaworld I've met people who've recovered and made a change big enough that they rarely get disordered thoughts. It's definitely possible, and in fact most people with an ED go into remission at least partially. The point is you're suffering less.
For both pancakes and relationships, you often have to learn from the first one (or the first couple lol) and then you take that new understanding into your technique for the second one and it gets a little better every time. Even if you don’t separate or divorce, there’s no shame in making mistakes and then learning and getting better as you go.