I donโt think anyone understands how horrific it is to be a victim of medical malpractice until it happens to them. It would have been easier if I had been assaulted by someone who could be criminally prosecuted. At least then I might have gotten justice. Since a doctor caused me to be permanently disabled, no one was held accountable. I have to live with the consequences of that doctorโs actions every day until I die.
I spend a lot of time on here talking about why healthy people shouldnโt tell those of us with chronic illness to push through or ignore symptoms.
At the same time, as many of you know, Iโm terrible at following my own advice and this time it landed me in the hospital.
I know exactly what pushing through can do. I know ignoring symptoms can be dangerous. I know I need to slow down when my body shows signs of a flare.
The problem is knowing that and being able to do it are two very different things.
Life doesnโt stop because youโre sick. Everyone knows that.
The bills still need paying. People rely on you.
Sick time at work is limited, even FMLA is limited. Disability isnโt always realistic and the process to get accepted is incredibly hard.
Plus, Iโm so medically burnt out, I donโt want to investigate every new symptom or try to find a doctor who understands my conditions.
So, I ignore things longer than I should. Sometimes it feels like I donโt have a choice but to do so.
But eventually the body will get the rest it needs, so here we are.
Healthy people love to say chronic pain patients are โtoo focused on their symptoms.โ
Of course we are.
You get a toothache and it ruins your afternoon.
We get pain that can alter where we sit, how long we stand, whether we sleep, whether we drive, whether we eat, whether we shower, whether we make plans, whether we cancel them, and whether we can think clearly enough to get through the day.
Then somehow the person living with it is accused of being โobsessed.โ
No.
Pain is intrusive.
Thereโs a difference.
If your smoke alarm screamed in your ear twelve hours a day, nobody would accuse you of being overly focused on the noise.
Theyโd understand why it had your attention.
Chronic pain deserves the same understanding.
Healthy people sometimes look at someone with chronic illness and think:
โYou didnโt even do anything today.
Why are you so exhausted?โ
Because youโre measuring activity.
Weโre measuring cost.
Imagine waking up every morning with $100 worth of energy.
A shower costs you $3.
Getting dressed costs $2.
Driving somewhere costs $5.
You barely notice the withdrawals because thereโs plenty in the account.
Now imagine waking up with $20.
The shower still costs $3.
Getting dressed still costs $2.
The drive still costs $5.
Except now, before lunch, half your account is gone.
Thatโs chronic illness.
Weโre not lazy.
Weโre budgeting.
Sometimes we skip the shower because we need those $3 to make dinner.
Sometimes we cancel plans because weโve already spent tomorrowโs money.
Sometimes you see us sitting perfectly still and assume weโre doing nothing.
No.
Weโre trying not to go into overdraft.
And the cruelest part?
People with $100 in the bank keep giving financial advice to people trying to survive on $20.
You cannot judge someoneโs spending when you have no idea what their balance was when they woke up.
I think itโs kinda gross that people just want to share their body with everyone and everything. Like, why is one person not enough? I genuinely donโt get it
Youโre risking a lot too not just physically, but spiritually
The soul ties youโre collecting like Pokรฉmon. ๐
The STDs
The parasites
All sorts, family
Just something to think about
Share your AI Art!
https://t.co/xe6bVYR9Ep
Letโs start little by little.
As I am busy with the course I am writing for you all, I need great art I can share with all of you.
I would like to see the best pieces you are currently doing, but you know I prefer to concentrate in one thing, so if you add more than one image, they need to go together in the same subject.
Then, if I like your art, I will share it with everyone or I will go on your feed and select something to share with everyone.
What do you think? Are you ready to share your art?
YOU ARE NOT JUST A REAL ARTIST IF YOU USE AI.
YOU ARE NOT JUST A REAL MUSICIAN.
YOU ARE NOT JUST A REAL WRITER.
You are still the one making the choices.
What stays. What goes. What gets distorted. What gets rebuilt. What deserves another hour. What needs to be thrown away and started again.
The tools can change.
Taste still matters.
Intent still matters.
Imagination still matters.
And when you choose to work with tools before everyone has agreed they are legitimate, some people will dismiss the work before they even look at it.
Let them.
Every new creative language looks wrong to someone before enough people learn how to speak it.
Keep pushing.
The best is yet to come.
MORE THAN REAL | A @surRIHL Cut
Created with @LoLoLumi88.
SHOW SOME SKIN AND YOU GET EVERYONEโS ATTENTION.
SHOW SOME DEPTH AND EVERYONEโS AFRAID OF HEIGHTS.
The surface is easy. Flesh catches light. Beauty is a currency the world already knows how to spend. A glimpse of skin, a flash of form, and the crowd leans inโhungry, familiar, unafraid. They recognize the transaction. They know the price.
Depth is another matter.
Depth does not glitter. It does not pose. It opens like a wound in the fabric of the ordinary and reveals the vast, breathing dark behind the veil. To show depth is to stand at the edge of the inner precipice and let others see how far the soul actually falls. Most look away. Heights terrify those who have only ever lived on the ground.
The mystic learns this early. Reveal the body and you are desired. Reveal the abyss and you are abandoned. People want the perfume, not the root. They want the flame, not the furnace. They want the angelโs face, not the seraphโs six wings and the terrible knowledge burning behind them.
Yet the ones who stayโthe rare ones who do not flinchโare the only ones who ever truly see you. They are not afraid of heights because they have already fallen. They know the sacred terror is not emptiness. It is fullness so immense it looks like void.
So keep showing the skin if you must. Let them look. But never forget: the real offering is the depth. And the ones worthy of it will not run from the drop. They will jump with you.