ænonymous dj

You can’t hate harder than me or your money back.

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

This is where I went. https://t.co/xMRRl6I6G3

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

Paper plates and plasticware tonight.

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

There is more than one guest at this wedding wearing a tuxedo tee shirt.

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

Every guest is on their phone.

Every. Single. One.

People just can’t turn off their dopamine feed. Not even for a wedding.

I walked by an eighty year old woman sitting at her table playing Candy Crush… during the bride and groom’s first dance. 🤦🏻‍♂️

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

Sometimes my job is setting up speakers, playing a Spotify playlist, and avoiding eye contact with the guests. Tonight’s playlist: Four uninterrupted hours of Michael McDonald, Hall & Oates, and Boz Scaggs.🤘🏼 https://t.co/FfoS1L4b9M

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

Tonight’s crowd is old. The most popular request has been to “Turn it down.”.

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

It’s been a while since I’ve been to a “white wedding”.

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

The mother of the bride is “really disappointed with how many of her daughter’s friends are vapists”.

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

@palina444 https://t.co/OHhCwvR1W7

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

@palina444 Crypto guys in Spaces

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

“It’s a gift for the groom.”

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

Me: (to manager, as rain starts falling on the ceremony) “Can you guys grab the facility umbrellas? It’s starting to drizzle.”

Banquet manager: “Is it noticeable?”

Me: (after long pause) “I’m mentioning it…?”

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

Me: (breathlessly entering the building after braving the elements and, against all odds, successfully arriving) “HI.”

Banquet manager: “Hi! Do you want to go over the timeline?”

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

I hate this fuckin’ song.

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

Butlered Rice Krispie Treats for cocktail hour at tonight’s wedding.

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

Vendor meal.

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

“We’re gonna serve dinner in under an hour. You OK dancin’’em for four hours?”

“No…”

“I wasn’t asking.”

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

When you play something Californians don’t recognize

[ænonymous dj @BitterWeddingDJ]

This wedding has all the charm and energy of a cold soup fart.