Bitter Baby

Torturing and Loving Mommy One Tweet at a Time

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

"How do you say hola in San Diego?"

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

"What planet does Grandma live on Mom?"

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

Bob the Builder. He Built That.

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

Naming decorative gourds.

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

She left me alone with a marker! BWAH!!!!!

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

Kickin it at story time. I was hoping the theme would be election related for tonight's debate, but I guess it's firefighters.

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

Mom just tried singing in the car. I gave her the Rodgers. Shhhhhhh.

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

I can wash my hair with my feet.

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

Practicing to be a teenager by bitching about school.

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

"I wish we had an xray thing so we could see what my bones look like. Can we get one?"

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

Mom 564 - Me 2

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

Epic. Melt. Down. (Complete with fake barf sounds)

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

In case you were wondering, yes you can live off of yogurt and string cheese.

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

I'm too young for Winx Club but she lets me watch it anyway because she is a terrible mother or it's because I will sit still. Either way...

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

"Can I bring my potty seat in the bathroom and a book and pretend to poop?"

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

Please purchase my new single out today, "Wag Your Tail and Show Your Bum". Available at Target and iTunes.

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

Scooby Doo.

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

Finally, I'm in bed. Never thought I'd get rid of her.

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

I'm cranky but guess who will suffer? Wait, that made me grin...

[Bitter Baby @Bitter_Baby]

The products of my big ass mess. http://t.co/RblwpupB