Ekalb Enits

There is no such thing as an appropriate joke, that’s why it’s a joke.

[The Twins Almanac @TwinsAlmanac]

If Shohei Ohtani would have played in Babe Ruth’s era, his career would have ended his rookie season when he tore his ulnar collateral ligament for the first time.

[☈€ᗰ☡€↳ 🥀⭒ @ohremzel]

anyone want a boyfriend? slightly used, plays Fortnite 😭

[Terence Daniels @terencedaniels]

Isn’t it crazy how you can hit the ball 500 yards in 2 shots, but it takes 4 putts to finish from 15 feet?

[Zanny @CFC_Zanny]

This was out FPL punishment for this year😬

[Sterling West @SterlingWest]

How your girlfriend looks at you when you tell her you wouldn’t love her if she turned into a worm

[Goldschmidt Happened @GoldyHappens]

Rams saw this video and said we need Myles Garrett to stop this ASAP

[Dirk Hayhurst @TheGarfoose]

New 9-10 year-old-little league coach here, and, woof, I have to tell ya, the hardest part about baseball at this level is getting the kids to stop crying about the steroid injections.

[eliz @eliza___v]

Who fucking closed last night?

[Karsen 🐎 @Broncos4six]

We all know its true

[Jake Weaver @MidwestGolfJake]

Three confirmed menaces to society:

1) People who drive 1-2 mph under the speed limit.
2) People who drive slowly in the left lane.
3) People who can't adhere to a golf course pace of play requirement.

I am willing to wager there's a significant overlap in these 3 populations.

[Blue Eyes White Dragon @babahoshii]

Met a guy on the bus who was explaining that that he likes to ride public transit to try and meet women because a woman who has made enough poor life decisions to be forced to take the bus might make another one and date him

[JP 𖣂⍣ @Awakenjp]

“Oh word?” And the fist bump is killing me

[Logan🌵 @phxlogan]

Tarik Skubal when all of the top teams have to shed payroll this offseason:

[Tyler “Beaver Basher” O’Connor @BeaverBasher67]

*me, a 28 handicap golfer, sitting in my cubicle *

“Holy shit I know exactly how to fix my swing”

[Aupa @Aupadrey]

le va a pedir matrimonio a su piba en la playa pero se tira un pedo de los nervios y se caga encima

me duele el pecho de la risa😭😭😭

[Ekalb Enits @BlakeStine]

@fmtovvns She’s Gen Z though?

[Nick Perkins @NickyPerkss]

I mean this with all the disrespect possible:
SGA is the single worst MVP any major sports league has ever been forced to endure

Absolute disaster in PR