Brandon

he/him
cool and good

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

im somehow both hotter and uglier than frank zappa

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

manifesting myself into her dreams... again

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

one sec, i gotta freak out about something innocuous

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

that good will hunting scene, but Robin Williams keeps telling me it is my fault

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

🖕

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

???

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

might let a stranger talk to me tonight

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

in my shitty stick and poke era

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

mistletoe? more like kiss a toe, amiright???

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

i used up all my luck today and now im scared for tomorrow

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

ah sick, the anxiety is back

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

wake and bake but its just me putting my head in the oven

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

winter is my onion season; i have many layers and i am very stinky

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

momma aint raise no quitter, but i will whine a lot

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

"easy as riding a bike", oh yeah??? well i ride bikes for a living and i still fall really hard and really often so shut up

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

my waterproof shoes are just waterproof enough to hold a quart of freezing cold water on my feet 🙃🙃

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

its sick that we've brought back bullying

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

i hate being reminded of how i used to dress. pls leave that shit in the past :(

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

the best version of me was the one that got up at 6am before school to watch reruns of buffy the vampire slayer

[Brandon @BlandoBrando]

you think im naturally this corny? this is the result of years of training, mastering it in the shadows.