Bliminal Bigfoot

Not deep enough to be subliminal. Dumb enough to be Bigfoot.

[Bliminal Bigfoot @BliminalBigfoot]

Does anyone have any crack? Asking for a fiend.

[Bliminal Bigfoot @BliminalBigfoot]

More than its thermal exhaust port, The Death Star’s real weakness was branding. Let’s see the rebels explain themselves after blowing up The Hope Star. #starwarsthoughts

[Bliminal Bigfoot @BliminalBigfoot]

Bitcoin or somethin I dunno I never played

[Bliminal Bigfoot @BliminalBigfoot]

Dogs are boys.
Cats are girls.
Raccoons are a classic nuclear family.

I don't make the rules this is just how it is.

[Bliminal Bigfoot @BliminalBigfoot]

I can't sleep because of a recurring dream where I'm stuck in the Middle Ages.

It's a Knightmare.

[Bliminal Bigfoot @BliminalBigfoot]

Okay hear me out. Currency, but for dogs.

[Bliminal Bigfoot @BliminalBigfoot]

When you search "crash" on emojipedia, the first emoji option is Airplane Arrival: 🛬

The second emoji option is Collision: 💥

Read that again.

[Bliminal Bigfoot @BliminalBigfoot]

@TheCoolUniverse let's do this @codsquadbot.

[Under The Bleachers @UTBleachers]

Tom Brady lands starring role and sponsorship for newest Acorn Stairlift commercial after his 'senior moment' on #ThursdayNightFootball.

#TomBrady #4thDown #Buccaneers #BucsvsBears #TampaBayBuccaneers #chicagobears #BearsWin #NickFoles

[Bliminal Bigfoot @BliminalBigfoot]

27 mummies unearthed in Egypt... This is the kinda stuff we just can't be doin in 2020.

[Under The Bleachers @UTBleachers]

Jeremy Lin makes his NBA2k21 player rating 99 to reflect brief Linsanity surge from 8 years ago. #2KDay

[Bliminal Bigfoot @BliminalBigfoot]

My new favorite thing is asking for random foods to be cooked "rare."

[Bliminal Bigfoot @BliminalBigfoot]

OBI-WAN: [on secret stealth mission]

ALSO OBI-WAN: [selects creature with loud, glorious singing voice]

[Bliminal Bigfoot @BliminalBigfoot]

Do you think woodpeckers ever misjudge their pecking angle and just slam their foreheads into a tree?

[Bliminal Bigfoot @BliminalBigfoot]

I try to be an optimist. Instead of saying "The ice is melting," I prefer to say "The ocean is growing."

[Bliminal Bigfoot @BliminalBigfoot]

Anybody else recently find out that certain people follow them, but now it’s way too late to follow them back because then they’ll know you haven’t been following them this whole time?

Anyways, sorry mom. Is what it is.

[Bliminal Bigfoot @BliminalBigfoot]

I'd feel a lot better about myself if Wingstop changed this to "Feeds 1-4."

[Bliminal Bigfoot @BliminalBigfoot]

If Charles Xavier based the X-Men on his first name they would be the C-Men.

[Bliminal Bigfoot @BliminalBigfoot]

Gummy Bears vs. Gummy Worms according to the gummy universe:

[Under The Bleachers @UTBleachers]

Now that the #NBAisBACK, here's where we at UTB believe certain players should have stayed at #DisneyWorld for the #NBABubble.