@TheKaterPotater@colleen_wing@powerkickaction@Jeopardy Is anyone in your circle (friends, family, neighbors,etc.) something other than Christian? Maybe you should consider listening to those of other faiths, who fe. I am happy to provide some insight on being Jewish.
GIVEAWAY news. I am excited to partner with @NGKids to give out a FREE copy of seven different books for Earth Day. Learn more at https://t.co/zeuFBNcs08
(Walks past my 7-year-old getting ready for school)
Kid: Are you going to change?
Me: (in my pjs) No, I'm just taking you to the bus stop.
Kid: WITHOUT A BRA???
Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow and predicts six more weeks of winter.
I saw my shadow and can predict six more weeks of dealing with everyone's shit.
Me: I wish I froze more of my eggs a few years ago.
Friend: You mean so you could have more kids?
Me: What? No. I mean the eggs I bought at the store that were $100 cheaper back then.