Peter Purves

Former Blue Peter presenter, after dinner speaker, man of the people.

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

Mrs Purves just saw me on the TV with Noakes & some fella from the Shadows called Ringo. #totp (Mrs P advised me to put this "harsh-tag")

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

I'm all in favour of International Woman's Day: #IWD. Or in the case of Valerie Singleton, #IDEFINITELYWD - and did.

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

The horse has gone to sleep (standing up, of course). Mrs. P is kicking off about it.

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

Just got an email addressed to "Peter Perves." Never seen that before.

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

I live in the centre of Leamington Spa.

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

There's a horse looking in through my living room window.

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

Speaking of the Shaft, I saw on TV that his wife does his daughter's homework for her. It's a bloody disgrace - how will she learn anything?

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

Baron Obama has a Twitter account, so why doesn't the Shafter? I'd ring him up if he hadn't had all his numbers mysteriously disconnected.

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

I got the bugger elected - the least he could do is share some trivialities from his daily life to a few million internetters.

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

Trying to find the Camshafter on Twitter but he doesn't seem to have an account. He's our bloody PM, for Christ's sake! It's a disgrace!

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

I haven't watched any test cricket since the Gatting/Shakoor Rana scandal of 1989. It hurts too much.

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

What a load of bloody rubbish. It's some advert for some young hoodlum's autobiography. I mean, who the hell is Stuart Broad?

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

Received a message from the ECB! Does this finall mean the call up I've craved since I was a small boy polishing up his balls?

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

Anyway, off to bed now. But no funny business. Mrs. Purves has rationed me to twice a month (except February).

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

Coh, dearie me... I wrote "taxed" instead of "texted" in my last tweet. Hahahahaha, what a faux pas. Bloody marvellous.

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

My secretary has just taxed me to say that it's a different Valerie Singleton. Apparently Val doesn't tweet. Or write softcore erotic tales.

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

Bloody hell! She's taken to writing saucy literature. I wonder if there's any tales about what her and Princess Anne got up to...

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

Damn, it seems Val Singleton is already on here. Strange, she seems to be living in California these days http://twitter.com/CaliCallGirl

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

I've decided to get on Twitter before any of my chums from the old days join the bandwagon. I'm still a competitive as ever, you see!

[Peter Purves @BluePeterPurves]

I'm Peter Purves, former presenter of Kick Start, Blue Peter, and darts coverage before those bastards at Sky swallowed it up.