Whitney Horton

Twenty-something with a very limited social life attempting to dull the pain of loneliness by partaking in a large number of social media sites.

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

Burt's Bees + Cheap Coffee = instant peppermint mocha. #TakeThatStarbucks

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

Welcome back, 90's- good to see you, old friend. #Midriffs #Overalls

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

Holding a door for someone who has to jog to accept said door opening. #kindnessfail

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

The amount of concealer under my eyes today is directly correlated to the amount of alcohol I drank last night. #AccidentalThursdayDrunk

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

I never thought I'd say this, but I want to bang that raccoon. #GuardiansOfTheGalaxy

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

The sole reason I am aware the World Cup is still transpiring is the Google doodle. #sportsbuff

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

I will either do it tomorrow, or never. #Mylifemotto

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

Can I put some sugar on my carrots, they don't taste very good. #my6yearoldnephew #fluffybunnyinthemaking

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

Sweet left sided tan. #commuterperks

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

Man this toilet seat is dirty, sure glad they supplied this dollar store tissue paper to protect me. #SaidNoOneEver

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

I'm fairly certain I willed a traffic light green with my mind this morning. #commuterninja

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

All black toilet seats are hiding something.

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

@calvincolorado Thanks for the support on social media, and in life, and stuff. If you didn't think I was funny, I would probably talk less.

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

Told the guy at AutoZone I needed a pint of motor oil today...turns out AutoZone doesn't operate like a drive-thru liquor store. #WhoKnew

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

Unwarranted ellipses can change the tone of an entire text message conversation. #ChooseYourPunctuationWisely

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

The frequency with which I find food in my scarves is truly alarming. #IDontKnowWhyIamStillSingle

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

Rear-ended a hybrid this morning...pretty sure I'm going to hell. #AllHybridsGoToHeaven

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

Movies. #cheaperthantherapy

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

The pit of one's standards is directly correlated with the number of face tattoos they allow their sexual partners to have. #oneisonetoomany

[Whitney Horton @Blueleigh87]

#Countrymusic - ending lyrical phrases with prepositions since 1965.