Bob Stewart MP Parody

Independent MP for Beckenham. Former UN Commander in Bosnia. Cricket enthusiast. Loves to nap in Parliament. Recently found guilty of racial slurs. Parody.

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

I can confirm that I beat all the Lib Dem councillors in an arm wrestle. It was particularly pleasing to beat @ChloeJane_Ross and her woke ideas. She duly conceded and said, "Bob, you are as strong as an Ox". Money raised will be donated to my flights to Bahrain.

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

I will be arm-wrestling Lib Dem councillors for charity. Constituents, please consider a donation.

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

Good Grief. Even more capacity for secret Marxist meetings.

[Three Hounds Beer Co @threehoundsbeer]

Time To Get A Bigger Boat!

We've finally signed the lease to next door, and we've got some big plans for 2024. Expect more Seating, Live Music and Beer! We aim to bring you the best selection of Cask Beer with us going to six lines while Keg Beers will be going to twenty Taps.

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

Not listed are the secret Marxist meetings held in the basement.

[Three Hounds Beer Co @threehoundsbeer]

Whats On At The Three Hounds!

We have a quiet few weeks before we get into our usual event schedule. We will be showing the Six Nationed downstairs throughout February plus the Superbowl!

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

The numbers 2, 0, 2 and 4 are Woke. Therefore, I shall not be wishing anyone a happy new year.

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

Your local woke comedy club, constituents. If this is the humour they deliver, watching paint dry would be deemed entertainment. Good grief.

[Beckenham Comedy @BeckenhamComedy]

Merry Christmas

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

Fantastic news for the shareholders

[Sky News @SkyNews]

BREAKING: Rail fares to go up by nearly 5% next year, Department for Transport says

Read more👇
https://t.co/GzHAn0IcOu

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

I will be singing on Beckenham Green tomorrow 1pm . Family Friendly event raising money for the upper middle classes who have had it hard this year.
Set list includes:
Deck the Lib Dems
O Litttle Town of Beckenham
Joy to Bahrain
Good King West Wickham
Knoll Knoll

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

I have seen these dogs near my property wearing surveillance equipment.

[Three Hounds Beer Co @threehoundsbeer]

Three Hounds!

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

Wishing my constituents with salaries over 100k, a very Merry Christmas.

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

An Ode to Beckenham by Col Bob 'Bahrain' Stewart
Oh, Beckenham
You are my Fam
You hath a tram
In Waitrose, there is jam
In O'neills, I sniff a gram
In Penge, I couldn't give a dam
Lib Dems are a sham
hung me like a lamb
revenge, I will, bish bosh; thank you, ma'am.

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

An Ode to Beckenham by Col Bob 'Bahrain' Stewart
Oh, Beckenham
You are my Fam
You hath a tram
In Waitrose, there is jam
In O'neills, I sniff a gram
In Penge, I couldn't give a dam
Lib Dems are a sham
hung me like a lamb
revenge, I will, bish bosh; thank you, ma'am.

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

ULEZ Update. I have written to @SadieSink today requesting the ULEZ boundary be pushed back to Penge. My Beckenham constituents have had it hard. ULEZ fees for our £200k 4x4's are costly. How will they afford a meal at one of the 200 Turkish restaurants in Beckenham?

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

@axyl2010 @threehoundsbeer I prefer to drink it.

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

Well, well, well, a team of Marxists who ousted me. The Commies pictured below are often seen in the basement of @threehoundsbeer holding secret meetings.

[Beckenham and Penge Labour Party @BeckPengeLabour]

Fantastic to be joined by @RachelReevesMP and @elliereeves as we launched our campaign for @LiamConlon2 in #Penge.

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

@jamesrhamilton @LBofBromley For goodness sake, adjust your head.

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

@NickTurpin I can take better photos on my Samsung 4, Nicholas.

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

Your local 'woke' comedy club. Even the microphone is woke.

[Beckenham Comedy @BeckenhamComedy]

Our Christmas special is sold out before we could even promote it on socials.

#beckenham #wildwestwickham #pengeandpaper

[Beckenham Comedy @BeckenhamComedy]

Our Christmas special is sold out before we could even promote it on socials.

#beckenham #wildwestwickham #pengeandpaper

[Bob Stewart MP Parody @BobStewart_MP]

Delighted to see Supermarket Sweep has returned to our TV screens. Not the same without Dale.

[London & UK Street News @CrimeLdn]

Meanwhile in Tesco