Bodestrade

Every well-bred petty crook knows that the small, concealable weapons always go to the far left of the place setting.

[Bodestrade @Bodestrade]

Somebody tell me I don't need a four category system with a second quality control level and 3 strategically placed dispensers for the 8,327 plastic bags under my kitchen sink.
#plasticbaghoarder #midwestlife #justgoodmanners

[Bodestrade @Bodestrade]

@wendys could provide better service.
I shouldn't have to say, "And take the side order of attitude off my bill, please."
#drivethruattitude
#poorservice

[Bodestrade @Bodestrade]

The four yr old is discovering a carabiner. I reach over and clip it on to something. He asks, "Are you magic?"
Yes. Yes I am.

[Tom Cruise @TomCruise]

#Day1

[Bodestrade @Bodestrade]

"Honey, I think your [3 yr old] son is shotgunning a juicebox" is as much fun to say as you think it is.
#cheers #Juice #SaturdayNight

[Bodestrade @Bodestrade]

God Bless #kwiktrip

[Bodestrade @Bodestrade]

THOUSAND PIECE PUZZLE.
...
ARE YOU @#$&%@ KIDDING ME?
#nenethomas @andrews+blaine
#iwantmymoneyback

[Bodestrade @Bodestrade]

My parents arrived. By the time I get home, Tybalt will be speaking, a casserole will be cooling, and my bedroom will be redecorated.

[Bodestrade @Bodestrade]

Hey @SXMOctane does @thebandGHOST actually have an album out? Cuz I am SUPER TIRED of you only playing Square Hammer.

[Bodestrade @Bodestrade]

Somebody tell @terrybradshaw to lay off the shrimp dip. #SuperBowlSunday

[Bodestrade @Bodestrade]

Please.
Please stop clicking.
Please stop clicking to reinforce your own bias.
#youroffensedoesnotequalyourright

[Bodestrade @Bodestrade]

#everythingoldisnewagain #godblessthe80s #lauraingallswilderfashion #irockedthisin1984 #thanksgramma

[Bodestrade @Bodestrade]

I must still be sick. Mesmerized by Sewing wuth Nancy right now.

[Exorcising Emily @exorcisingemily]

Today began with my best impression of that Exorcist pea soup scene. If you don't get that reference, don't look it up.

Being sick sucks.

[Bodestrade @Bodestrade]

Funny how the Inauguration commentators never stop to name the women who show up on camera...

[Bodestrade @Bodestrade]

@notenufpencils https://t.co/SWUr0fdSR8

[NY Public Library @nypl]

Happy birthday, A. A. Milne! Did you know these fun facts about his creation, Winnie-the-Pooh? https://t.co/JuDw6SJTLQ

[Bodestrade @Bodestrade]

I dislike cleaning colanders.

[Bodestrade @Bodestrade]

@notenufpencils @nickshattuck what? What? What am I missing? What's going on?

[Bodestrade @Bodestrade]

This new year, I wish you the exact amount of ice cubes you desire at the soda fountain.

[Bodestrade @Bodestrade]

@4aimeers ok. :)