Ste Beer

Single, running enthusiast, total geek & gamer, supporter of local business, lover of good food, wannabe chef & baker, gardener & herb grower, Pizza aficionado

[Bexxy @Bexxy__19]

I went outside today with ONE objective.

Get the mail.

That’s it.

A normal adult activity that should take approximately 45 seconds.

Unfortunately, I saw a crow.

And the crow saw me.

Now, I don’t know what came over me, but I nodded at him.

He nodded back.

So obviously we’re colleagues now.

I said, “What’s up, fucker?”

He screamed.

I screamed back.

This was apparently the password.

Because ANOTHER crow showed up.

Then another.

Within two minutes I had accidentally assembled a small airborne council in my driveway.

My neighbor walked outside and asked what I was doing.

I said, “Diplomacy.”

She went back inside.

Smart woman.

Anyway, I decided my new associates deserved snacks, so I went inside and came back with peanuts.

This is where negotiations deteriorated.

One crow took a peanut.

One crow stole THREE.

And Gerald—

I named the biggest one Gerald—

Gerald ignored the peanuts entirely and stole a fucking spoon off my porch.

Why was there a spoon on my porch?

Irrelevant.

Gerald has it now.

That’s between him and God.

I tried following him because THAT WAS A GOOD SPOON.

This resulted in me barefoot, halfway across the yard, yelling,

“GERALD YOU THIEVING SKY BASTARD, WE HAD AN AGREEMENT.”

That’s when I noticed a little kid across the street staring at me.

I stared back.

He stared at the crows.

Then back at me.

I whispered, “They’ve chosen me.”

His mother immediately called him inside.

Anyway.

I never got the mail.

Gerald has my spoon.

There are now seven crows sitting on the power line outside my house.

And one of them just dropped a bottle cap on my driveway.

So either I’ve been accepted into their society…

or they’re paying me.

I don’t know.

But tomorrow I’m giving them walnuts and assigning ranks.

Gerald is already on thin fucking ice.

[Ste Beer @BogEyedBeaver]

@IamLioRush @TMZ ITS FINE …

[Ste Beer @BogEyedBeaver]

Rofl 😂😂😂

[Ste Beer @BogEyedBeaver]

I love this ❤️❤️

[Harry Eccles @Heccles94]

🎯

[Ste Beer @BogEyedBeaver]

@NoContextBrits I work with a bunch of these . . Wait, sorry no family members at my employer 😂😂

[Ste Beer @BogEyedBeaver]

Skills ❤️

[ChrisJ_Greene @chrisj_greene]

#WWE #WWERAW #SmackDown

[Ste Beer @BogEyedBeaver]

@kalanighost Question, why has someone cut that black pudding with precision to get the thinnest slice possible??? . . It should be at least 1cm thick ! 🥳

[DameDane Mondays @DameKiryu]

It is Monday...
Dame Da Ne...

[80s Kidz @80s_Kidz]

Inspirational quote of the day👌🏻

[Stu thats all you get🇺🇸🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @Boldyboy1975]

Happy Friday to the 3 people that will see this🎉🎉🎉💔

[Friday Night @YakuzaFriday]

Friday at last…

[No Context Brits @NoContextBrits]

I know a great business when I see one.

[LukeCB14 @LukeCB14]

Finally watched this video and yeah, it was as painful as I expected.

o7 Destiny 2.

[Ste Beer @BogEyedBeaver]

Rofl . . Who did this 😂😂😂

[Ste Beer @BogEyedBeaver]

@ShaneHelmsCom That helms guy looks familiar, I’m sure he was a news reporter or something 🥰

[90s WWE @90sWWE]

Having trouble with your computer?

Just press "F5"

[Ste Beer @BogEyedBeaver]

Love this . . AI is truly made for things like this, visualising ancient history as if you were there today, amazing