Bong Mulvey

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

Ed Hardy energy drink...for when your thirst needs to be douchey too.

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

One day I'd like to jump out of a birthday cake and throw an axe at my arch enemy. Is that too much to ask?

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

Some lady on this plane has a tiny dog in a bag and it won't stop barking because it's a tiny dog in a bag.

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

Duct tape to women is what Spanx are to men: we don’t know what it does,we think it’s ugly,and don't get why it’s impossible to get off.

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

Had a good day

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

Bomb squads must love Daylight Savings Time because of the extra hour they get before the bomb explodes.

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

Facebook reminds me of Twitter. Twitter reminds me of tumblr. Tumblr quotes and stuffs reminds me of you.

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

I like to put Aunt Jemima next to the Uncle Ben in my pantry. I'm hoping for a love connection

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

I may have perfected a maneuver to get into bed without the monster grabbing my feet. If I don't tweet tomorrow, you'll know I failed.

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

All i'm saying is that girls who have pink hair will do things that girls who don't have pink hair won't do.

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

The worst frozen pizza tastes better than the freshest salad.

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

And now, a poem. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Violet is a shade of purple, so you're a lying whore.

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

the best revenge is living well. the second best revenge is acid in face. who will love them now?

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

being an actor is kind of like signing up to get punched in the face repeatedly with small breaks for really awesome ice cream.

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

Don't regret what you said, regret what you didn't say when you had the chance.

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

Does anyone else feel insulted when you’re waiting for an elevator and have already hit the button and someone walks up and hits it again?

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

I can’t sand when people leave messages and they’re like “hi, it’s me…” Yeah, I know it’s you. That’s why I didn’t pick up

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

At this point, camels should know better than to put straw anywhere near their backs.

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

When im talking to someone, i tend to lose interest after about 140 characters.

[Bong Mulvey @Bongfd712]

They say that if you are bad in this life, you re-encarnate into a 'Nickelback' song in the next one.