Stasia!

People keep telling me to write a book, but I think they only think I'm funny because we're friends. So this is as good as it gets...

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

Trying to come to terms with the fact that I have never been, and will never be, as sexy as this gravestone's skeleton

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

My New Year's resolution is to change nothing about myself, that way I don't have to be disappointed in myself more than the normal amount later

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

Watching someone go from "I've finally left hell and am now working at the best place ever!" to a month later when they realize they've merely moved laterally to a different ring of hell is really sad...and relatable

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

Panera employee: Are you the to-go order with broccoli cheddar soup?
Me: Yeah!
Her: I put an extra big piece of bread in for you
Me: Thank you! 🥹🥹🥹
#womensupportingwomen

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

Fridge companies should make secret compartments for emergency chocolate, because sometimes I deserve a treat...but they don't.

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

The urge to be the little spoon, have your big spoon pet your hair, tell you you're pretty, and maybe feed you some chocolate

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

No one:
My brain:

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

@JortsTheCat My Jean and Jorts Floof Edition merch have been diligently hunting stink bugs. They don't eat them, but leave their carcasses for me to dispose of

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

@TheBloggess I had a grocery list once with an item listed as "baby pot" but I knew I didn't need small potatoes, and I spent an extra 30 min at the store hoping I'd see something that would trigger me to remember. I did not.

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

@JillyCarleen @reeses I'm trying!

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

I hid a @reeses peanut butter cup in the freezer and now it's gone. I regret feeding my family, ever. Clearly they're all shady, backstabbing garbage that have never deserved my love #betrayal

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

Nevermind, I found it. Apparently I hid it a little too well...

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

I STG, my teeth are going to turn to diamonds with the amount of pressure they're under #unclenchyourjaw

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

@jamesfromCO @HamiltonMusical @Lin_Manuel Absolutely not 🤣🤣🤣

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

Sewing this costume was a nightmare and nearly made me hate the @HamiltonMusical and @Lin_Manuel for making my daughter love this character so much 🤣 But seeing it done and how delighted she was... #worthit

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

@dcodysweet I sent this to my vet because she loves Theodosia, and she said it was the highpoint of her day!

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

Onlyfans, but it's just me peeling off my skin after being sun burnt 🥵💵💵💵

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

Got my toes in the water, sand in my ass... Or whatever the @zacbrownband said

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

Dev walks into the room this AM holding a @MountainDew. "Really, dude?" I ask. "Uh, yeah?" he giggles. I eat another @Oreo wondering why he is making poor breakfast choices

[Stasia! @BookofQuirky]

Want to be vaguely reminded of Oreo creme while eating a mediocre caramel? Then have I got the candy for you! #ilovethemanyway