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@artemyeva666 Oh my GOD THE RICE FIELD SCENE!!!! This is ABSOLUTELY gorgeous!!!! I adore how you can see Hua Cheng's fear and uncertainty in this moment, dampening what should be their happy reunion... you did such beautiful work!!!
Your mother is problematic. Your father is problematic. Your son is problematic. Your aunt is problematic. The cashier at the local Tesco is problematic. You've probably bought a cookie from a bakery made by hands that have done unspeakable things. Every chocolate bar you've ever eaten has probably killed a 7 year old child slave in Cameroon. The gas that drives your car is fueled by engines of death. Every person who has ever smiled at you in the streets has committed some act that if you knew about it, would make you profoundly dislike them.
We have all been bad, small, petty, unlikeable, cruel, downright mean. Authors are not special "problematic" beings, they're just more public. Part of being an adult is recognizing that without mercy for our fellow human beings, and ourselves, we'd all be condemned to death. Reading fiction should help us understand that we're all irreparably tainted with evil, every system is corrupted, every line is broken.
And like, that's okay. That's what it means to be alive.