Jacob Schuler

[Jacob Schuler @BoringLabDork]

Me to CVS guy: “so why do you have to check my ID for these basic meds?”
CVS guy: “You can make meth with them”
Me: “oh well I guess I gotta pay my tuition somehow”
CVS guy: “sir I legal can’t sell you these now”
Me: currently driving to Walgreens

[Eden @EedenEnne]

up at 3am flailing & grunting, to show my newborn son I care about his hobbies and interests

[LA\/ENDER @LavenderGhast]

"I never said thank you for keeping bugs away from the window"

"And you'll never have to"

*Dark knight theme plays*

[YIMBYLAND @YIMBYLAND]

Imagine showing Stalin this picture

[East Village Guy @eastvillageguy]

Holy fuck get dunked on by a DICTIONARY

[planefag @planefag]

Does it have AC?

[Sandy Petersen 🪔 @SandyofCthulhu]

@TierZoo Read about the Minamata poisoning.

[Kenjac @JackKennedy]

Wernher von Braun actually designed the world's first paperclips in order to stop the astronaut's mission sheets from floating away while they were in Zero-G.

Google "Wernher von Braun paperclip" to learn more!

[PancreasNoWork @PancreasNo]

NASA should have 50% of government funding not because I want to see the beauty and wonders of the cosmos but because I want to live in the timeline that results in Kuat Drive Yards

[Meacham @MeachamDr]

“To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.” - Theodore Roosevelt

[THE™ Jessi Davin @jessithebuckeye]

The US Navy Sailors on the USS John P. Murtha greeting the astronauts of Artemis II with a giant blow up Alien LMAO 😭😭😭🤣🤣

[kelli @LagunaBiotchIG]

Sometimes TMZ clocks in and decides to go after the government rather than Britney Spears and in those moments we know peace

[Mitch Goldich 🐙 @mitchgoldich]

The biggest game of the first round is on Friday, when Long Island battles Arizona for iced tea supremacy

[critter @BecomingCritter]

brilliant

[Major League Shill @VoxProMLS]

This is dope as fuck why is nobody talking about this

[Ben @MrGoodlyCooks]

I don’t follow hockey, but this had me tearing up. They brought their teammate’s (who was killed by a drunk driver) kids out onto the ice with their dad’s jersey to celebrate the moment. 🥹

[🍗🦃🦂Butters-Tur/K/ey🦂🦃🍗 @TheUnaButters]

A forgotten story of 9/11 is the Maritime evacuation that took place after the towers fell.

Hundreds of thousands of people were stranded on Manhattan after the buildings collapsed. The USCG sent out a "All Boats" call

Over 150 boats evacuated 300,000-500,000 people.

[shelby @thetrueshelby]

Imagine explaining to your daughter how you got fired from DHS for emailing coworkers “grass on the field…play ball” & “I’m gonna crawl back in my cougar cave now”. Yikes.

This is your Lt. Gov, Arkansas. This is MAGA family values, y’all.

[Classical Studies Memes @CSMFHT]

- Publius Quinctilius Varus, Teutoburg Forest, 9 AD

[Ari Meirov @MySportsUpdate]

Larry Fitzgerald owns one of the craziest stats in NFL history.

Fitzgerald finished his 17-year career with more tackles (41) than drops (29).

Just absurd.