Things My Boss Says

My amazing(ly weird) boss says the strangest things. See what a day in the life of working for him looks like.

Note: Boss is fully supportive of this account.

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

@hellodigit Your app isn't opening for days. How do I get my money out? Why aren't you responding to anyone mentioning this issue in the Google Play reviews?

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

@marisaaamarieee There are tickets already being resold on Vivid Seats so some are able to get through :(

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

"Don't worry, we're good for life."

#ThingsMyBossSays when I tell him I'm leaving the company 😭

Goodbye to the wackiest and most supportive boss. It's been a ride. Until next time...

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

Boss stops zoom meeting. "My brother is coming over to hang up my tv. I realize I didn't need to tell you that, but it's f%cking important because it's moving from the floor to the wall"

#ThingsMyBossSays

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

Me: "He reminds me a lot of you"

Boss: "That's the best compliment you could ever give him"

#ThingsMyBossSays

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

Manager giving advice for dealing with temperature. "This is where the mom of me comes out"

Boss: "This is where the hypochondriac of me comes out"

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

Boss made a joke in a Zoom meeting.

Boss slacks, "Thanks for laughing at me"

My slack: "You're welcome. I'll take any opportunity to laugh at you"

#Bazinga

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

Boss: "Bullshit off the farm is the new best saying ever."

Me: "Back in Iowa, we’d say hog shit"

Boss: "I've heard that, when I was in Iowa"

Me: "You've never been in Iowa, who are we kidding"

Boss: "Nope, that would be hog shit"

#ThingsMyBossSays

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

Boss: "Writing a short story is on my bucket list"

Colleague: "Same, but I want to write a children's book".

Boss: "I like that, I should set my sights lower. Not that a children's book is a lower bar"

#ThingsMyBossSays

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

(Meeting attending talking about me) "Did she already go?"

Boss: "Yes, but her answer wasn't memorable"

Colleague: "Woah, burn!"

#ThingsMyBossSays

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

"Yes, I'm a hoarder of small things. I can't wait to fill new house with shit"

#ThingsMyBossSays

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

Colleague: "You look like you're straight out of a Patagonia catalog".

Boss: "I'm straight out of the Marine Layer catalog. But thanks, I'll take that as a compliment"

#ThingsMyBossSays

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

"Do you want to meet now instead of tomorrow?
Actually, I should take a break.
Good talk."

#ThingsMyBossSays on Slack

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

"Do you scratch them with your tongue? Serious question"

#ThingsMyBossSays

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

(Boss showing a demo recording to a group) "I don't know what past me was narrating in my head, so we're dealing with that right now"

#ThingsMyBossSays

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

"That's the douchiest thing I've said all day"

#ThingsMyBossSays

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

Actually back in the office, sitting next to Boss...

"You've been longing to be unproductive, right?!"

#ThingsMyBossSays

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

"Hey, I didn't lie to you. I just deceived you."

#ThingsMyBossSays

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

"Is it because of the lawn mower guy?"

#ThingsMyBossSays on Zoom

[Things My Boss Says @BossEmployee]

Boss: "She's flying home. On an airplane."

#ThingsMyBossSays