Bownuggets

[Bownuggets @Bownuggets]

*7 hours after losing rap battle*

[sobbing]: I...I don’t know Susan maybe I am a wet-toast kermit lookin-ass bitch

[Brandon the Cow @Brampersandon_]

EXECUTIONER: *tightens straps on electric chair* any last words?

ME: when a toaster dies it should be called a ghoster lol

EXECUTIONER: [slides another bead across the abacus] double death penalty

[Bownuggets @Bownuggets]

@ninatreemonkey Does this mean we r going steady?

[Bownuggets @Bownuggets]

HOT LOCAL MOMS IN YOUR AREA ARE WAITING TO TUCK U IN & WILL BE CHECKING THAT TOOTHBRUSH SO GET IN THERE & DO IT RIGHT MISTER

[Bownuggets @Bownuggets]

Are there any monsters under my bed Dad?
"No son. The only monsters live & walk amongst us & u won't know until it's too late. Goodnight."

[Bownuggets @Bownuggets]

That’s justice.

[Bownuggets @Bownuggets]

[God creating praying mantis]
Make an insect that does karate
Angel: k
Now make it bite her husband's head off
Angel: dude we need to talk

[jo @whatsJo]

[told I’m needed to fulfill an ancient prophecy] what’s the latest possible deadline

[Bownuggets @Bownuggets]

@70Ceeks How dare u.

[Bownuggets @Bownuggets]

@joeislamo Yessir. :)

[Bownuggets @Bownuggets]

Still one of my favorite things

[kim @KimmyMonte]

My 9 yo son just made this movie trailer and I literally cannot stop laughing.

[Bownuggets @Bownuggets]

@joeislamo Some say the nuggets never left. But in reality, I’m a part time nug.

[. @SuiNeltwork]

good thing we’re still closed because one of the rides just exploded

[Snorklhuahua @weinerdog4life]

The guy who discovered boomerangs must have been terrified

[Bownuggets @Bownuggets]

@KimmyMonte There’s a reason Rudd rhymes with Stud.
...wait for it...
He can see both sides and try to keep ya safe.

[kim @KimmyMonte]

“we gotta yeet this virus”
we stan paul rudd.
https://t.co/7cyEchA7Hl

[Bownuggets @Bownuggets]

@KimmyMonte Ate too much lasagna and passed out.

[kim @KimmyMonte]

if you watch Friday the 13th backwards, a hockey goalie heals murder victims by walking away from them