Marvin Branagh

Parody. Just a cop in a zombie-ridden city.

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

Become a police officer, they said.

It’ll be a rewarding career, they said.

Goddamn zombies happened, I said.

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

@ElliotEdward2 @I_Like_Doggos76 Elliot

My dear man

As the only two staff in the station, we have unlimited funding

I just wanted some lobster, don’t give me grief for it

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

Marvin’s Log, Day ??

I FOUND ELLIOT.

He’s alive. Somehow. I’m amazed. He doesn’t have legs now though. Poor bastard. You just know there are some sick fucks out there who’d mock him relentlessly for years about it.

All in all, a good day?

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

Like all great tragedies, I find myself unable to look away, haunted yet mesmerised by the display in front of me. Truly, this is a man raging against the void, a lost soul shouting at the world in protest at his fate

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

On a different note, and one I’m unsure about…

I had fever dreams about another universe where I was Spider-Man, and there was people from other universes, and I was the chief of the station, and we all lived together like some fucked up sitcom.

Weird, right?

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

@ElliotEdward2

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

@ElliotEdward2 Replaced? No. Not at all. I just had to make a friend to stay sane. He’s just a lampshade I met. He could never hold a candle to you.

I missed you too. I think we’re the only survivors left. At least we get easy promotions?

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

Sorry for the absence. I got bit by a radioactive spider

Peter Parker got superpowers from it. I got fucking radiation poisoning for two weeks.

Some guys get all the luck

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

Marvin’s Log, Day 13

Today I figure I might clear up the main office block. It got untidy when half a dozen undead set up shop in there.

Maybe if I pretend things are normal, they’ll go back to normal?

Optimism I guess.

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

Marvin’s Log, Day 12

Kinda lost a day there. Lampy and I had a wicked party. I got so drunk. There’s photos of me doing the robot for a group of zombies out the window.

All in all, a good time. I just don’t know where we got this vial of something marked “G-Virus”.

Anyone?

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

@ElliotEdward2 I’ll take “things with more legs than Elliot” for $500, Alex

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

@apieceoftoaster Someone liked it, I don’t know, somehow it’s tagged this account because the @ is the same even though it’s a new account entirely

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

@apieceoftoaster This is completely false, I never said these words

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

Marvin’s Log, Day 11

Today Lampy and I had a great discourse on the importance of reaching out to people and making sure they’re coping well in a crisis situation.

He’s such a good friend.

I’m so glad someone understands me like he does.

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

@WilliamBirkinG @BoardsWindow Both. I’ve also put up a sign that says “closed for fumigation” on the front door. No one will come in now.

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

Marvin’s Log, Day 10

I’ve been keeping this log 10 days.

Somehow… I’m still alive.

The station is mostly secure now. I haven’t found any more survivors.

It’s just me and my new friend, Lampy.

He’s a talking lampshade. I’m glad I met him.

He’s keeping me sane.

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

Marvin’s Log, Day 9

Halloween is coming up at the end of the month. Maybe this is my chance to get to know my undead roommates.

If I dress up like a zombie, do you think they’d accept me?

I just want friends.

I just want to be happy-

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

Marvin’s Log, Day 8

I saw a survivor today!

Tried to help him get into the police station, but the zombies got him first.

Strange dude, mind you. I think it was a man wearing a tofu costume?

Everyone’s got a gimmick these days.

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

Marvin’s Log, Day 7

Monday mornings suck. They weren’t good before the outbreak, they’re no better now.

I had to kill two zombies just to get to the damn coffee machine.

Don’t mess with a man who hasn’t had his coffee. I possess a firearm.

[Marvin Branagh @BranaghMarvin]

Marvin’s Log, Day 6

Today I tried to explore the basement of the station.

This was, without question, a major mistake.

There are packs of what were once our police dogs down there.

They have gone slightly… feral.