Brandon Gurney

Mostly Live Tweets from my favorite theology professor these days... #JohnFrederickLiveTweets

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

"Here's what we will do... we will buy out Spotify and then cancel it in the Name of Jesus. We're bringing back vinyl, baby!" #JFLive

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

"When you have kids make sure to endoctrinate them with your normative hipster idiosyncrasies... and the world will be a better place." - JF

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

"Aww man.... I'm tired. I'll have to get some of that java jam juice after this or something." #JFLiveTweets

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

"I just want to come into the presence of Mark Driscoll and pacifistically crush him. I want to totally annihilate him intellectually!" #JF

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

"Every time I smoke a cigar, I don't ask the Holy Spirit about which one to choose. I just grab a cigar and start puffing." #JFLive

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

Just experienced "Lifer" for the 1st time - Believe me, I would rather spend 12 years in Azkaban than listen to "Ghost" again. I'm haunted.

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

"It's Yeezy Season. It's every bit as much a holiday as President's day. What the Hell have they ever done for us?" @hypebeastmystic

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

"Nothing against Old Geezers but they're not gonna carry the Church into the next generation - unless they've found the fountain of young."

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

"I didn't know that the last time I was lecturing I had a 102 + fever. I just thought I was full of the Holy Ghost or something." #JFLive

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

"Alright, it's 4:18, take 15 minutes to break into groups... wait, no, it's 3:26... Ohhh, the date is 4/18..." #JohnFrederickLive

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

"When I finally learned what crossing yourself means, I thought, 'That's rad - way better than scribbling on my head and itching my nose.'"

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

"Avoid unhealthy places, especially churches. They will suck your soul out and leave you feeling nasty..." #JohnFrederickLiveTweets

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

"When I was a Catholic I used to lie to the Priest at lease once a year in confession - lie about the good and the bad things I did."#JFLive

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

"Y'all can cancel your yoga classes and just come to Christus Victor. You can still stretch and pray. We've got incense and everything." JF

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

"I hope that Target does a Benny Hinn line of space-age clothing in the next decade, cuz I would be wearing every article of it..." #JFLive

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

"Back then I would have tried to convert all my Catholic friends... Of course, back then I was a Bible-thumping maniac." #JFLive

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

"Remember that I want lots of Ewoks in the EOCS. Make sure you mention that you desire an emphasis on Ewokian hermeneutics." #JFLive

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

Ronnie: "Didn't you say that you were never going to join Facebook again?"
John: "I often lie, Ronnie... You must your hermeneutic skills."

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

"As a pacifist, I'm well on my way to peace-land. In my shalomification, I have become keenly aware of my verbal acts of violence." #JFLive

[Brandon Gurney @BrandonRGurney]

(In regards to profanity) "We can still drop some swears while we catch fish... but let's try to keep it holy." #JFLiveTweets